Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-26

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In current generation, over population iis also a problem. The world demograph has reached to it maximum. The population of some countries like India , Somalia are relatively having large number of young adults, Whereas small number of population in older people. I believe that large number of young adullts can develop economy. In this case, It can impect to better labour strong and pension stability. In contraset, This can also lead to unemployment and more compertiton.

On the one side, The maximum adult population can lead to high adaptablity and better technology development. Furthermore , The young working labours will help to significent change in construction field. In additional, The increase in demograph can lead to raise in GDP due more employments. Moreover, The government also get benefical due to reduse pension and collection taxes from young adults. For example, The adults have more capacity to deal rick in busniess works and physical works compared to older population. The young people will create a unity amoung them for new involation and developmeant of new formula to economy.

On the other side, The increased aduilt population can lead to screcity in employments. Therefore, The competition begins with aduild population for emplyments due to large skilled demogragh. They Not only face issue in searching for the employment, But also they need to face problem regardiong planning and resources management in large scale. As a result, Many people will migrate to other country for better opportunitys. For instance , Increase in skilled population can become problem to job markets .Educational insititutes, school admission will fill fast. The medical, grosserys food other resources will get high priced due to less goods.

In summary. I support that large number of young adults can develop economy siginificantly. Moreover, The young population will be the road map of inovations and technology developer for society. The country will get stability if young population run towords eonomy development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention economic growth and innovation as advantages, and unemployment and resource scarcity as disadvantages, the arguments lack depth and specific, well-explained examples. The position is clear, but the supporting points are often repetitive or stated as general assertions rather than fully developed arguments. To improve, focus on expanding each point with a clear logical chain—explaining 'why' and 'how' a situation leads to a specific outcome—rather than listing several points briefly.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For example, phrases like 'In additional' and 'In contraset' are non-standard. Additionally, the transition between sentences is occasionally abrupt, and the referencing is sometimes unclear. While there is an overall progression, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the frequent errors in punctuation (such as unnecessary capitalisation after commas) detract from the flow. Improving the variety and accuracy of your linking phrases will help move your score higher.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary range is adequate for the task but limited in terms of precision and collocation. There are frequent spelling errors (e.g., 'demograph', 'impect', 'compertiton', 'involation', 'screcity', 'aduild') and word choice issues (e.g., 'labour strong', 'get benefical'). These errors are noticeable and occasionally force the reader to pause, though they do not completely impede communication. To reach a higher band, you need to demonstrate a more accurate use of less common vocabulary and ensure that your spelling is consistent. Focus on learning the correct forms of academic terms rather than relying on phonetic approximations.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at complex sentences often contain grammatical errors. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The government also get benefical'), article usage (e.g., 'in construction field'), and sentence fragments. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly the incorrect use of capital letters in the middle of sentences. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of basic grammatical errors limits the score. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement and article placement before attempting more complex structures.

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