Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
There is a noticeable increased an ratio of young people compare to senior citizens, in some countries. However some people believe that it has more benefits than demerits, while other argues that, I strongly agree with the statement that, having a Higher population of an adults carries more benefits for the particular country. This essay will discuss both the view points.
On the on hand, Young adults having more energy and potential compare to older people, also they have more ability to contribute for the country in different factors, such as a Financial, Economical, Innovation and Health care as well. In today's generation an adults are more active and efficient not only to work with new technologies, but also to develope and innovate new technologies. Which would proves more beneficial to the particular country. An adults are motivated human beings in any country, perhaps they are eggar to participate to makre their country stong and secure. Young adults carries strong activeness and enrgy, their energy and activeness contributes to keep country's environment Energatic and powerful, and that inspires up-coming generation.
On the other hand, An Experience of older people through their life is not negligible, they can help to adults to make accurate decision in their career. older people plays very imporatant role to create geniune working system in all different sectors, for instence, social group, corporate designations, and contry's development.
In conclusion, an older people plays very important role for development of country. Althrough, having more adults in a country provides numerous benefits.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development is inconsistent. While you state a clear position in the introduction, the body paragraphs lack depth and specific examples. For instance, you mention 'Financial' and 'Economical' factors but do not explain how a young population specifically impacts these areas. The conclusion is also quite brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, ensure each point is supported by a clear explanation or a concrete example to reach a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. Phrases like 'On the on hand' (should be 'On the one hand') and the repetitive use of 'An adults' or 'In conclusion' show a limited range of linking words. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the transition between the benefits of youth and the role of older people. Improving the variety of transition signals and ensuring they are used correctly would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'good' or 'important' and struggle with word forms, such as 'develope' (develop), 'eggar' (eager), and 'makre' (make). There are also issues with collocations, such as 'carries strong activeness'. While you attempt some academic vocabulary like 'innovation' and 'designations', the frequent spelling errors and incorrect word choices hinder the precision of your argument. Expanding your vocabulary through reading and focusing on correct word forms will help you achieve a higher score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with article usage ('an adults', 'a Financial'), subject-verb agreement ('older people plays'), and sentence structure (e.g., 'Which would proves more beneficial'). The range of sentence structures is limited, relying mostly on simple or slightly complex sentences that often contain errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and article usage, and practice constructing more complex sentences with correct punctuation.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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