Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In the recent years, numerous countries have experienced a substantial growth in the number of young people which has far exceeded the number of elderly. While this may cause some financial issues for the country, I believe the benefits of a growing young population supercede it's potential drawbacks.

For some people, the rapidly proliferating population is a significant concern as states all around the world have to take responsibility to provide more employment opportunities for the rising number of young people. It can be a challenging issue as many developing nations are struggling to cope with surging inflation and economic burdens and can not provide enough opportunities for the young generation. As a result, a substantial number of youngsters in such countries struggle to find occupation and feed their families. For instance, Pakistan's population is spreading exponentially every year and hence more than 25% of it's population is now living below poverty line as government can not provide enough funds and resources to feed the enormous number of young people.

On the other hand, there are some countries whose young population is way less than the required proportion. Consequently, there is a need of urgent workforce in these countries to keep the institutions running. Such nations have to depend on international labour to provide sufficient workforce. An illustration of this phenomenon can be seen in USA where currently there is a shortage of 150,000 healthcare workers and the government has to rely on international workers to keep the health industry running. Many industries are expanding at global level and they require a lot of young people to work for them, hence a large population of young people can save them from defaulting.

To conclude, while an increased number of youngsters can pose a threat to nation's economic stability, I believe it can be beneficial to supply the workforce needed for the expanding number of industries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages of a large young population outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the economic challenges in Pakistan and the labor shortages in the USA. However, the development of the 'advantages' side is slightly less detailed than the 'disadvantages' side. While the argument is clear, the analysis could be deepened by exploring the long-term economic benefits or innovation potential of a young workforce more thoroughly. Overall, the response is well-focused and maintains a consistent position throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices are used effectively, such as 'While this may', 'As a result', and 'On the other hand', which help guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the opposing viewpoints. The progression of ideas is logical, moving from the challenges of unemployment to the necessity of a workforce in aging nations. The referencing is generally clear, though some transitions could be more sophisticated to improve the flow between sentences.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is sufficient and generally appropriate for the task. The student uses some good collocations and topic-specific terms like 'surging inflation', 'economic burdens', and 'exponentially'. There are some minor issues with word choice, such as 'way less' (which is informal) and 'spreading exponentially' (which is slightly awkward in this context). However, the range is adequate to convey complex ideas clearly. To reach a higher band, the student should aim for more precise academic vocabulary and avoid slightly informal phrasing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several error-free sentences, but some persistent errors in grammar and punctuation occur. For example, there are possessive apostrophe errors ('it's' used instead of 'its') and minor article usage issues (e.g., 'in USA' should be 'in the USA'). Despite these errors, the meaning is never obscured, and the grammar is generally controlled. The student shows an ability to use complex structures, but more consistent accuracy is needed to reach the 7.0+ range.

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