Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

INTRODUCTION:

Yes, i agree with this statement that nowadys the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

main body paragraph 1:

Youngester plays a vital role for the development of a country and pakistan our country is one of the biggest country according to the population, Allah Almighty gives many facilities to our country if they use our resources in good way our country is full developed and achieve progress very easily.

main body paragraph 2:

It is an idiom that old is gold that mean the importance of old people in our country that is very important, in our country old population is low because they are not maintain there bodies and not survive for a long time, not care of his diets, not exercise regularly spending a lazy lifestyle(only eat and sleep)

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 146 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the prompt asks for a discussion on whether the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages, the essay only touches upon the benefits of young people and makes a brief, somewhat irrelevant comment about the health of older people. The position is not clearly stated or maintained throughout the response. Because the essay is severely under-length and lacks a balanced discussion of the prompt's core question, it does not adequately address the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction and two main body paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. There is a lack of cohesive devices to link ideas within and between sentences. For example, the transition between the role of young people and the discussion of older people is abrupt and lacks a clear logical connection. The paragraphing is present but the content within the paragraphs is disjointed, making the overall structure feel mechanical and underdeveloped. The lack of a conclusion further hinders the coherence of the piece.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. The student uses basic terms such as 'big', 'good way', and 'important' repeatedly. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'not maintain there bodies' and 'not survive for a long time', which sound unnatural. The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas or arguments effectively. To improve, the student needs to focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and collocations that are appropriate for a formal essay context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Youngester plays'), incorrect pronoun usage (e.g., 'their' vs 'there'), and sentence structure (e.g., run-on sentences and fragments). The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters and incorrect comma usage. The lack of complex sentence structures prevents the student from demonstrating a higher level of grammatical control.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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