Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-27

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, the population of young adults is larger than that of older adults. While this trend can pose many challenges, the advantages of young adults outweigh the disadvantages in their contributions to the economy, education, and the demand for health care.

On the one hand, a large population is a burden on the government and requires many things used in our daily lives. Like education, employment, and health care needed in our lives. In addition, the unemployed and the educated do not have any jobs to address local social problems like poverty and crime. But developed countries have worked to improve these facilities for employment.

On the other hand, the large young population has many significant benefits. First, it is the backbone of the workforce. Then, generally, they are more energetic, productive, and willing to learn new skills more easily.

For example, in India, most of the workers are young and work in the industries to introduce new technologies to improve the growth of the economy. Secondly, young adults know about new technology, so it can change the whole world more conveniently.

Furthermore, young adults can pay most of the taxes that elders do. It can help the government to improve its revenue and economy. The government can support the ageing population with a lower proportion of elders than young adults.

In conclusion, young adults can create many challenges in education, employment, and a strong foundation for the development of the future. It can introduce many new technologies and work for all generations.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The disadvantages section is underdeveloped, particularly the vague mention of 'unemployed and educated' people not addressing social problems. The advantages are better supported with the example of India and the mention of technological adoption. To reach a higher band, you need to provide more depth in your arguments, ensuring that each point is fully explained rather than just stated. The position is clear, but the overall analysis lacks the depth required for a higher score.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. You use some cohesive devices like 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore'. However, the transition between sentences is sometimes mechanical or abrupt, such as the start of the second paragraph where sentence fragments ('Like education, employment...') are used instead of full, connected sentences. Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, making the logical flow feel slightly disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would significantly improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to express your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'workforce', 'revenue', and 'ageing population'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of imprecise word choice, such as 'requires many things used in our daily lives' and 'can change the whole world more conveniently'. To improve, you should aim to use more precise academic collocations and less common vocabulary. The current level is sufficient to communicate your points, but it lacks the flexibility and sophistication expected at higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as sentence fragments ('Like education, employment, and health care needed in our lives.') and issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. Some sentences are also slightly awkward in their construction, which occasionally hinders the flow. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on reducing these frequent errors and increasing the variety of complex structures, such as using more subordinate clauses or conditional sentences, while ensuring they are grammatically accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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