Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent times some countries population of youngsters are more as compared to elderly. This essay would discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situaiton.
On the one hand there are more benifites of younger generation as compared to older. There are many reasons like smart brain, younger body and they have more courage of doing work than old people. The nation with more number of young brains would help the nation grow faster because their brain would work more creative and inovative as compared to elderly and they would have more productive ideas due to their courisity of finding new and more easy way to work. Secondly their body works more efficiently than senior citizens and they is more felixable which helps them do more work as compared to golden agers.
On the other hand, old people are an assets to country as well as younger generation. Elderly can guide as well as help youngesters in various situation because they are more experienced and wiser. Moreover they help in saving the past culture and traditions because recent generations are not much into traditons and prefer their own way. Another advantages of elder person that they have more expertise over taking care of children, managing money and remembering numerous stories for bedtime.
To conclude, although both generations have their own advantages and disadvantages, the benefits of younger population are far more significant and cannot be overshadowed by its drawbacks. In my opinion, the collaborative efforts of both generation can help in country grow much efficently.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention 'smart brain' and 'courage' for young people, these points are not supported with specific examples or deep analysis. The conclusion is a bit contradictory; you state that the benefits of the young are 'far more significant,' yet you end by suggesting that 'collaborative efforts' are the best approach, which slightly undermines your previously stated position. To reach a higher band, ensure your main ideas are fully extended with concrete evidence or logical reasoning.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, each with a distinct focus. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'On the other hand,' and 'To conclude' to signal the structure. However, the flow between sentences within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical, and the use of referencing is occasionally weak (e.g., 'Another advantages of elder person'). The progression of ideas is generally clear, but the transition between the body paragraphs and the conclusion could be smoother to better reflect the development of your argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There are several spelling errors ('benifites', 'inovative', 'courisity', 'felixable') and awkward collocations like 'golden agers' and 'smart brain.' You rely on relatively simple language to express your ideas. To improve, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary and ensure correct spelling. For instance, instead of 'smart brain,' consider using 'intellectual potential' or 'cognitive agility.' Expanding your range of topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics and economics would also be beneficial.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'they is more felixable') and pluralization (e.g., 'Another advantages'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas in introductory phrases. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to distract the reader. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic agreement errors and practice using more varied, error-free complex sentences to demonstrate better control over your grammar.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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