Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-28

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In recent times some countries' populations of young ons are more as compared to elderly. This essay would discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this situation.

On the one hand there are more benefites of the younger generation as compared to older. There are many reasons like greater cognitive ability, younger body and they have more courage of doing work than old people. The nation with a greater number of young brains would help the nation grow faster because their brain would work more creatively and innovative as compared to elderly and they would have more productive ideas due to their curiosity of finding new and more efficient way to work. Secondly their body works more efficiently than senior citizens and they are more

flexible which helps them do more work as compared to golden agers.

On the other hand, old people are an asset to the country as well as younger generation. Elderly can guide as well as help youngsters in various situations because they are more experienced and wiser. Moreover they help in saving the past culture and traditions because recent generations are not much into traditions and prefer their own way. Another advantage of elder people that they have more expertise over taking care of children, managing money and remembering numerous stories for bedtime.

To conclude, although both generations have their own advantages and disadvantages, the benefits of the younger population are far more significant and cannot be overshadowed by its drawbacks. In my opinion, the collaborative efforts of both generations can help the country grow much efficiently.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response5.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.0
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall5.5

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, and it maintains a clear position that the benefits of a younger population are more significant. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding 'cognitive ability' and 'younger body' is repetitive and lacks specific examples or deeper analysis. The discussion on the elderly is also quite general, relying on common tropes rather than exploring the socio-economic implications of an aging versus a youthful demographic. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete evidence or logical reasoning to support your claims rather than relying on generalizations.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' are used correctly, but the transitions between sentences within paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, some referencing is slightly unclear, such as the transition between the benefits of youth and the specific mention of 'golden agers'. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, but it is somewhat limited and occasionally imprecise. Phrases like 'young ons' (young ones) and 'golden agers' are informal or awkward in an academic context. While you attempt to use words like 'innovative' and 'collaborative', there are instances where word choice is repetitive or slightly off-target, such as 'courage of doing work'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding informal or invented terms. Expanding your vocabulary to include more sophisticated synonyms for 'young' and 'old' would also be beneficial.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the younger generation', 'the elderly') and subject-verb agreement ('their brain would work'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing commas after introductory phrases. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, specifically regarding pluralization and the correct use of articles in academic writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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