Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-28
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
Population is increasing rapidly in urban areas. Nowadays, the population of young adults is slightly higher than the population of older adults in few nations. This essay will discuss both pros and cons behind this trend and also explain why I believe advantages outweigh disadvantages.
On the one hand, there are numerous benefits of having young adults in society. First and foremost, one reason is that having more young people will leads to a huge workforce. As more young people are capable of working in different sectors and contributing to the productivity of a country. Moreover, the young adults are able to create more job opportunities and increase the overall productivity of business. In addition, governments can collect tax revenues from working adults, which boost the economy of government. Another important advantage is that, having greater number of adults can be useful to society, as they can invent new things which are useful for the growth of society. For instance, counties with large working young adults can benefit from having more workforce in hospitals, manufacturing sector, which can increase productivity and economic output. Hence, having more young adults is beneficial to the society.
On the other hand, there are adverse effects on society by not having a greater number of older people. One major disadvantage is that people will have fewer opportunities to benefit from the experience and guidance of older people. Elderly people often have valuable knowledge from their personal experiences, and they can guide the young adults in a correct path. Moreover, they can share some useful suggestions and advice the young people on their future. On top of that, there is lack of emotional support, if older people are not there through their hardships. For example, a young adult having a problem about choosing a career path, the older generation can give some extremely useful advice from their personal experience, which is very beneficial for that young adult. Therefore, having relatively lower older people in society leads to lack of emotional support, and useful advice and suggestions.
In conclusion, although having relatively fewer old people, will lead to lack of emotional connection, and lack of useful suggestion and advice. I strong believe that advantages of having more young adults outweigh the disadvantages of having fewer older people, because young adults create a greater workforce, creates more employment opportunities and boost the productivity and economy of governments and other business.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5
The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly regarding the economic benefits of a large workforce. However, the development of the disadvantages could be more nuanced; while the loss of 'emotional support' is mentioned, it is somewhat repetitive. The essay maintains a consistent stance throughout, though the conclusion could be more sophisticated in its synthesis of the arguments presented. Overall, the response is well-structured and directly answers the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'Moreover,' and 'In addition' are used effectively to link sentences and paragraphs. However, there are instances where the flow is slightly mechanical, and some referencing is a bit repetitive. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the different sides of the argument, contributing to the overall coherence of the piece.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express ideas clearly. There is an attempt to use topic-specific vocabulary such as 'tax revenues,' 'economic output,' and 'workforce.' However, the range is somewhat limited, and there is a tendency to repeat words like 'young adults' and 'society' frequently. Some collocations are slightly unnatural, such as 'boost the economy of government.' To reach a higher band, the student should aim for more varied synonyms and more precise academic collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors that occur throughout the text. For example, 'will leads to' (subject-verb agreement), 'having greater number of adults' (missing article), and 'counties with large working young adults' (awkward phrasing). Additionally, there are minor punctuation issues, such as unnecessary commas. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score in this criterion.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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