Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In an era characterised by rapid social and technological change. The grown prevalence of young population is matter of increasing concern in modern life. It brings potential benefits along with legitimate concerns. The disadvantage are acknowledged but I believe advantages are outweighed by disadvantages.

On one hand the young population is increasing as compared to older. There are several advantages of being young blood, strength, active, fresh mind and technology oriented. However, it is believed that young generation is more efficient, and invariably available to avail diverse opportunities. Young people have stamina and strength to do hard work. Respectively, there are alot of tasl which need strength and endurance to complete it, it is possible for the younger individuals. It is believed that young people are more technologically capable and work in every environment according to contemporary world.

On the other hand there are some disadvantages as well. It is believed tha the older generation is that history which can give youngsters alot of knowledge about life, because old people have lived there life and gain alot of experience from their time. Our ancestors values and our culture are only taught by our olders. They are the role model for new generations. They have solutions of different problems.

It is concluded that both generations are well deserved and valued. Every generation has thier exquisite qualities. We need younger minds for new era of technology. However, we also need the experience of old people who spend there lives and learned alot from their times.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth in its development. While you identify both advantages and disadvantages, the arguments are presented as lists of points rather than fully extended ideas. For instance, you mention that young people are 'technology oriented' and 'efficient,' but you do not explain how these traits specifically benefit a nation's economy or social structure. Furthermore, your position is contradictory; you state in the introduction that 'advantages are outweighed by disadvantages,' yet the body paragraphs do not clearly support this stance, and the conclusion remains neutral. To improve, ensure each point is supported by a specific example or a clear explanation of the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the logical flow between and within paragraphs is weak. You use basic cohesive devices like 'On one hand' and 'On the other hand,' but the transitions between sentences are often abrupt. For example, the jump from 'young blood' to 'stamina' feels disjointed. Additionally, the referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the sentence 'Respectively, there are alot of tasl which need strength,' where the word 'respectively' is used incorrectly. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider range of linking words and ensure that each sentence logically follows the previous one to build a cohesive argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is quite repetitive and lacks precision. You frequently use basic terms like 'young people,' 'old people,' and 'good.' There are also several instances of awkward word choices and spelling errors, such as 'grown prevalence' instead of 'growing,' 'tasl' instead of 'tasks,' and 'olders' instead of 'older generation.' To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to demographics and social dynamics, such as 'ageing population,' 'demographic shift,' or 'intergenerational knowledge transfer.' Focusing on accurate collocations will also help you convey your ideas more professionally.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'The disadvantage are acknowledged'), missing articles (e.g., 'in modern life'), and punctuation errors, such as starting a sentence with a fragment ('In an era characterised by rapid social and technological change.'). Additionally, there are spelling errors like 'thier' instead of 'their' and 'tha' instead of 'that.' To improve, focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your sentences are complete thoughts rather than fragments. Increasing the variety of complex sentence structures while maintaining accuracy will also boost your score.

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