Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults compared with the number of older people. From most peoples view it provides an advantage to the country.

To begin with the first argument I would clearly state that young adults participates in the growth of economic condition of the country. It is so because of their flexible working. Young adults have an absolute stamina of working for hours as compared to older people. More working means more growth of economy of a country.

On the other hand it increases the competition among all the young adults and in future this can lead to unemployment, this would lead to a depressed economy.

My second argument states that young adults are more keen and comfortable to technology and entrepreneurship which would result in a boom in future start ups. Unlike the older people the young generation are less dependent.

If i conclude all the concerns and advantages i have mentioned above. I would clearly state that young generation can definitely increase the economy of a country by setting up new startups and introducing new means of technology in future. The main reason of concern is more devastating. The increasing young population will result in high competion for jobs, collage and university spots to get admission which will further develop into unemployment for some. Hence it will turn into a depressed economy. There should be a balance in the population of the country for its smooth flow. All people are important wether older or younger.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, such as economic growth through entrepreneurship versus the risk of unemployment. However, the development is somewhat limited. The arguments are presented in a list-like fashion rather than being fully explored with detailed examples or logical depth. The conclusion attempts to balance the views but lacks a clear, sustained position throughout the essay. To improve, you should aim to expand on your points with specific real-world examples or more detailed explanations of the causal links between a young population and economic outcomes, ensuring your position is clearly stated in the introduction and maintained throughout.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. Phrases like 'To begin with the first argument' and 'My second argument states' are functional but repetitive. There is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas within and between paragraphs. Additionally, the transition between the advantages and the disadvantages could be smoother. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'in contrast') and ensure that the progression of ideas flows more naturally from one point to the next.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'entrepreneurship' and 'depressed economy', but there are also instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'absolute stamina of working' and 'keen and comfortable to technology'. These collocations are not entirely natural. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and using more precise academic vocabulary. Avoid repeating simple words and try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms to express your ideas with greater clarity and impact.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally hinder the flow. For example, 'young adults participates' (subject-verb agreement), 'most peoples view' (missing apostrophe), and 'high competion for jobs, collage and university' (spelling errors). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors are noticeable. To improve, pay closer attention to subject-verb agreement, pluralization, and basic punctuation. Additionally, try to incorporate a wider variety of complex sentence structures, such as conditional sentences or relative clauses, while ensuring they are grammatically accurate.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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