Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In recent years, it is firmly believe that young people are in large proportion in some countries as compared to the ratio of elders, while this demographic trend has some challenges, but in my perspective advantages far outweigh the drawbacks.
One of the main reasons of having more adults is that economic advancement because they bring development by having knowledge through studies, which is helpful for the community and government. For example, youngsters help in bringing more innovative technologies like electric bikes and cars which help the individuals to not to spend a lot of money in buying fuel and diesel. Moreover, they are less burden for the government as they don't require maximum health care facilities for their well-being.
People under age 50 are more creative and intelligent as they can be seen doing some mesmerizing drawings on the roads and plantations for climatic changes.
On the other hand, disadvantage include of not having more older citizens is that less interaction to social groups. To elaborate, more age people rely on spending their time at home at day rather than going out and doing some productive things. For example, Grandparents are most likely involve in doing help in home chores or lying on the bed while reading book. Consequently, they are of no use for the government as compared to adults.
Another reason is that they can't born more young lives for the betterment of the society and become more stressful for the others due to showing their anger issues as older ones act in a childish behavior. As a result, society often experiences fights between families.
To conclude, despite having disadvantages of less populace of elderly ones, they are still loved by their kids and in some countries they live with them. While few of them consists of having more less aged group for the prosperity of their country.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the economic benefits of young adults are mentioned, the arguments regarding the elderly are problematic and lack logical support, such as the claim that older people are 'of no use for the government' or that they act in a 'childish behavior.' These points are not only poorly developed but also rely on generalizations that weaken the overall argument. The position is clear, but the supporting evidence is often superficial or logically flawed, preventing a higher score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While cohesive devices like 'Moreover' and 'On the other hand' are used, they are sometimes applied mechanically or incorrectly. The referencing is occasionally confusing, particularly in the conclusion, where the final sentence is difficult to interpret. Paragraphing is present, but the internal flow of ideas within paragraphs is disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's line of reasoning throughout the text.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally limited and repetitive. There are several instances of awkward word choices and incorrect collocations, such as 'less burden for the government' instead of 'less of a burden' and 'can't born more young lives' instead of 'cannot produce more offspring.' The use of 'mesmerizing drawings' is slightly off-topic in the context of economic contribution. While the student attempts to use some academic vocabulary, the lack of precision and frequent errors in word formation hinder the overall quality of the expression.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('disadvantage include of'), incorrect verb forms ('is firmly believe'), and awkward sentence construction ('few of them consists of having more less aged group'). Punctuation is generally functional, but the frequency of errors in basic grammar—such as articles and preposition usage—is high. The control of complex structures is inconsistent, and the errors are noticeable throughout the response.
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