Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-29

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, there has been a growing debate over significant number of youngster in many countries. Nowadays, many countries have a large number of youngster in comparison to the elders. This essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages, i believe that it is benefits are more significant.

One of the main advantages of having more young people is that increase work productivity. The work efficiency increase in the country when higher number of young adults join industries. for example, in recent years, IT industry has been boosting in work because a large part of workforce is young generation, who perform task faster and well manners. Government burden reduces is another advantage of having

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 113 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. While the essay attempts to introduce the topic and state a position, the development of ideas is severely limited. The second paragraph begins to discuss advantages, such as work productivity, but the argument is cut off mid-sentence. There is no discussion of disadvantages or a conclusion, meaning the prompt is not fully addressed. To improve, you must expand your points with specific examples and ensure you cover all parts of the question, including a balanced view and a clear summary.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay shows some attempt at logical organization, such as using 'One of the main advantages' to signal a new point. However, the text is incomplete and lacks a coherent structure overall. Paragraphing is attempted, but the abrupt ending prevents a logical flow. Cohesive devices are minimal and sometimes misused, such as the awkward transition 'Government burden reduces is another advantage of having'. The lack of a conclusion and the unfinished nature of the argument significantly hinder the progression of ideas. To improve, focus on linking sentences with appropriate conjunctions and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence and supporting details.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is basic and repetitive. You frequently use the term 'youngster' and 'young generation' rather than a wider range of academic synonyms. There are also noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'boosting in work' and 'well manners', which sound unnatural. The range is limited, and the vocabulary used does not demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary related to demographics and economics, and ensure you use words in their correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'significant number of youngster' (missing article and pluralization error), 'it is benefits' (incorrect possessive pronoun), and 'The work efficiency increase' (subject-verb agreement error). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and there is a lack of complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing capital letters at the start of sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct article usage, and practicing the construction of complex sentences using subordinating conjunctions.

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