Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-30

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In many countries population of adults or young people is much better than older persons.

In my opinion, high population of young persons in any country is good for development and progress of such country. Pakistan is also one of such countries which have huge amount of adults. It is a positive point for development of my motherland. Young people who have great will power are best asset of any nation. They all have such ability to do any kind work. If younger generation have right and good path way to follow, can become a source of honor for any country.

Talking about advantages and disadvantages of laege number of younge

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 111 words. Consequently, the task is incomplete, and the development of ideas is severely restricted. While the student attempts to state an opinion regarding the advantages of a young population, the discussion is superficial and lacks the necessary depth, examples, or counter-arguments required for an Academic Task 2 essay. The response cuts off mid-sentence, preventing a full exploration of the prompt. To improve, the student must ensure they write a full essay that addresses all parts of the question, including both advantages and disadvantages, with sufficient supporting evidence.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. There is no introduction, body paragraphs are not fully developed, and the conclusion is missing. The use of cohesive devices is minimal and basic, such as 'If' and 'In my opinion'. The text is fragmented, and the abrupt ending significantly disrupts the flow of information. To achieve a higher score, the student should organize their ideas into distinct paragraphs, each with a clear topic sentence, and use a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'on the other hand') to connect ideas logically.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive. Phrases like 'huge amount of adults' and 'good path way' are imprecise and lack the academic tone expected in IELTS writing. There are also errors in word choice, such as 'laege' (spelling error) and 'young persons' (less natural than 'young people' or 'the youth'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas effectively. The student should focus on learning topic-specific collocations and synonyms to avoid repetition and improve the sophistication of their writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammar is characterized by frequent errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'population of adults or young people is much better than older persons' (awkward phrasing) and 'If younger generation have right and good path way to follow, can become...' (missing subject and article). There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the control over basic grammar, such as articles and subject-verb agreement, is inconsistent. To improve, the student needs to practice sentence construction, focusing on the correct use of articles, prepositions, and complex sentence forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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