Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In the present scenario,the population of some countries shows a significantly higher proportion of young adult relative to the elderly population.while this demographic imbalanced create a pressure on job market and infrastructure.but still ,i firmly believe the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

In one hand,having a significant number of youths in a countries create the situation of unemployment,which pressurize them to leave the country for better opportunities,several country are facing this issue due to the rise of adult population and the limited job opportunities.moreover,the tough competition for grabbing opportunities within a country has lead many youth became the victim of mental health problem.

In the another hand,Young adults presence is required for the growth of nation,several countries in the world firmly believes in the idea and the power of youth to change the face of the country.for instance,infrastructure developments,science and technology development educational changes,youth are the vital part of it.Moreover,at the time of nation protection the power and energy of young adult is required for fighting in the frontline.especially in the under developed countries where their support and idea are mostly needed.

To sum up, there is both advantages and disadvantages of this situation.still from my perspective,youth are the pillar of the nation they have the power of creating change in the country for the welfare of the nation and also for the coming generation with the help of their knowledge,skills and most importantly the energy they carried inside of them.However,the government should also focus on creating opportunities so that youth remains in the nation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a youth-heavy population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the point about mental health is mentioned but not fully explored or linked back to the core argument. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack depth and specific examples, relying instead on generalizations. To reach a higher band, you should provide more concrete evidence or detailed explanations for your claims, ensuring that the link between the demographic situation and the resulting social or economic impacts is more robustly articulated.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow is frequently interrupted by mechanical errors and awkward transitions. Phrases like 'In one hand' and 'In the another hand' are incorrect; 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand' should be used. Furthermore, the punctuation is inconsistent, with many sentences starting with lowercase letters or lacking proper spacing after commas. While there is an attempt to use cohesive devices like 'moreover' and 'for instance', the overall logical progression is hindered by these structural and grammatical issues, making the text feel somewhat disjointed.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher score. You rely on basic terms and occasionally struggle with word choice, such as 'demographic imbalanced' (should be 'imbalance') and 'grabbing opportunities'. There are also issues with collocation, such as 'the power and energy of young adult is required for fighting in the frontline'. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical form and context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, including subject-verb agreement issues ('this demographic imbalanced create', 'youth are the vital part of it'), incorrect article usage, and sentence fragments. The range of structures is limited, and the errors are persistent enough to occasionally impede the reader's flow. Punctuation is also a significant weakness, with many missing spaces after punctuation marks and incorrect capitalization. To improve, you need to focus on basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and consistent proofreading to eliminate these recurring errors.

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