Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
The population of some countries at the current moment are increasing very fast which include huge figure of young adults, there is a less figure of older people in population rather than young.
According to my perspective advantages of this situation can outweigh the disadvantages.
In my own point of view, having a large number of young adults in population can outweigh the disadvantages because if a country consist on huge figures of young teens, so there is no one who gave them advices. I think the older people are blessings for us because they can guide us better to make decisions in life because they have vast experience in their life in choosing career and decision making for positive results.
In my perspective, the oldly people are also blessings for their grandsons because they love them so much and they also guide them. I think the main disadvantages of this situation is that if young children don't have someone who gave them lessons to made themselves a respectful personality, they can face many difficulties because oldies made them for living in society with respectfully. It is very necessary to have some ethics for living in respectful societies and only older people can gave such useful and unique advices because they have seen many kind of these events and situations in their life.
To despite the given arguments, I think older people are great blessings from god and we should respect them and keep them happy and should available for them when the needed. The young adults can't get that great motivation without their grandfathers and grandmothers because their oldies are well know for their kindness.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but struggles with clarity and logical development. While you state a position, the arguments provided are repetitive and focus almost exclusively on the role of older people in society rather than the broader economic or social implications of a young population. The prompt asks for an evaluation of the advantages and disadvantages of having a large number of young adults; however, your response focuses heavily on the benefits of the elderly, which is only tangentially related to the core topic. To improve, ensure your arguments directly address the specific demographic shift mentioned in the prompt, such as labor force participation, innovation, or the burden on social services.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is weak. Transitions between ideas are often repetitive or mechanical, such as the repeated use of 'In my perspective' and 'I think'. The connection between the topic of young adults and the subsequent focus on the elderly is not clearly established, making the flow of ideas disjointed. Furthermore, the use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes inaccurate, which hinders the overall readability of the essay. To improve, use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear, distinct focus that supports your main argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic terms like 'huge figures', 'blessings', and 'oldies' (which is informal and inappropriate for an academic essay). There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'oldly people' and 'made themselves a respectful personality'. To reach a higher band, you need to use a more academic range of vocabulary and avoid informal or non-standard phrasing. Focus on learning collocations related to demographics and social structures to express your ideas with greater precision and sophistication.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'population... are increasing', 'country consist on'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are run-on or lack proper punctuation, such as 'The population of some countries at the current moment are increasing very fast which include huge figure of young adults, there is a less figure of older people'. You rely heavily on simple sentence structures, and attempts at more complex sentences are often marred by errors. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex grammatical forms.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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