Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-31

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.5)

It is often argued that the present population in many nations has a larger figure of younger people compared to the number of older ones. I believe the advantages of fresh ideas and innovations significantly outweigh the disadvantages of losing older generation's experience and knowledge.

On the one hand, older people possess years of experience and expertise which are of great value to our community. Having spent years in solving problems, their advice can reduce errors. Therefore, when younger people outnumbers them, their valuable insights also get reduced. For example, top managers of a company who are mostly older in age, have more experience in a particular industry which helps the organization take more informed decision. By contrast, if important decisions involved younger employees' involvement, potential poor judgement would have existed. Therefore, people with expertise are important assets of our society and less participation from them can be problematic.

On the other hand, larger number of younger population means more innovative approaches and fresh ideas, which is the driving force of our modern world. Younger people are more involved in technological views and change management compared to many older people who are change resistant. As a result, the new generation brings more adaptation to the technological advancement and innovative views in the leadership approaches, opening new doors of opportunities and discoveries. Moreover, larger figure of older citizens can put huge financial burden on the governments through pension allocation, social benefits, old-age facilities and so on. Furthermore, more younger population means a large number of working-age people can contribute to the country which could not have been possible with more older population.

In conclusion, I firmly believe that the advantages of larger number of younger population outweigh the disadvantages of the situation by incorporating new ideas and innovation into our lives which are in demand for a futuristic world.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, clearly stating a position in the introduction and maintaining it throughout. The arguments regarding the benefits of innovation and the economic burden of an aging population are relevant and well-developed. However, the discussion of the disadvantages is slightly less balanced compared to the advantages. While the point about the loss of experience is valid, it could have been extended further to reach a higher band. Overall, the ideas are clearly presented and the position is consistent, meeting the requirements for a Band 7.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'By contrast', and 'Moreover' are used effectively to link ideas. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and there is occasional repetition of phrasing (e.g., 'larger number of'). Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would elevate the score further.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally appropriate and sufficient for the task. You demonstrate an ability to use topic-specific language such as 'change management', 'pension allocation', and 'technological advancement'. There are some minor issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'larger figure of' instead of 'larger proportion of' or 'higher number of'. While you attempt to use less common vocabulary, some phrases are slightly awkward. Expanding your range of collocations and refining word choice would help you move into the higher band range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is good. There are some grammatical errors, such as 'when younger people outnumbers them' (subject-verb agreement) and 'if important decisions involved... potential poor judgement would have existed' (conditional structure error). Despite these slips, the meaning is always clear, and the errors do not impede communication. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct usage of conditional tenses. The punctuation is generally accurate throughout the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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