Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-08-31
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, some countries have majority of the young population than the senior citizen. while, there are several drawbacks associated with it, I believe that positive aspects are considerable greater than its drawbacks.
One major benefit is that, maximum younger ones enhance the growth and development of the country. For example, new generation are familiar with modern technology which improves the workload by using the modern machinery which saves the valuable time of workers and enhance to quantity. Similarly, young adults, use the internet and some websites to connect the people all over the world as well as they improves their skills by exchanging their ideas as well as they research some latest technologies which they use and get familiar with their merits and demerits. Also, the discover new methods of sales such as sale on websities where everyone see the products and advertise them on international level which improves the country's economy.
On the other hand, old people are the backbone of the country, they teach morals and values to the further generations and helps the adults in some household chores. firstly, older ones take care of their grandchildren like teach them historic stories and ethics which would be helpful for the ward's upbringing. secondly, senior citizens have some life experiences which is not avaliable on the internet .
In conclusion, while , there are several negative aspects of minimal ratio of old people. It is undeniable that new generation brings multiple latest ideas to improve the country's growth.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development is somewhat superficial. The arguments regarding technology and economic growth are repetitive, and the points about the elderly are underdeveloped. Furthermore, the response is 249 words long, failing to meet the 250-word minimum requirement. This under-length, combined with the lack of depth in supporting examples, limits the score. To improve, you should provide more specific, concrete examples rather than general statements, and ensure you meet the minimum word count to avoid a penalty.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the transition 'while, there are several drawbacks' is grammatically awkward, and the use of 'similarly' does not logically connect the ideas about technology to the previous sentence. The progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed, particularly in the second paragraph where multiple points are bundled together without clear signposting. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic terms like 'younger ones' and 'old people' repeatedly. There are also errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'enhance to quantity' and 'sale on websities'. Some phrases are repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'modern' and 'country'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary and collocations, such as 'demographic dividend' or 'intergenerational knowledge transfer', and ensure that your spelling and word forms are accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'new generation are'), incorrect article usage, and awkward phrasing (e.g., 'connect the people all over the world'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be a good starting point for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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