Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.0)
There is an ongoing debate about whether the advantages of having more young adults than senior people in some countries outweigh its disadvantages. Even though having more old people in a country means that the expective of life is longer, I believe that there are more advantages of younger people being the largest proportion of adults in a country.
The main reason why a country with a larger old population is considered a better place to life it is because of the life expectancy. Countries where people live the longest tend to have a better health care system, education and quality of life. For example, New Zealand, where the life expectancy is over 75 years, is considered one of the best places in the world to live.
Having a good life expectancy, however, brings some disadvanges. The work force on those countries are getting smaller than the number of people that retires. Canada, for instance, is trying to attract young families to the country. This is to help the workforce to be able to pay for pensions. Another reason is to fill the positions available around the country. In terms of countries that are relatively larger in number of young adults, I believe that those places tend to be in a safer position for the future when compared to the countries where the population are getting overall older.
In conclusion, even though places where the population are older tend to be better places to live, having a young genaration available to work in a country brings more advantages to the future of its nation.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 6.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. While you mention the economic benefits of a young workforce, the argument regarding the disadvantages of an older population is slightly underdeveloped and could benefit from more specific examples or deeper analysis. Your position is clear throughout, but the link between the 'life expectancy' argument and the prompt's focus on population age structure is slightly tenuous. To reach a higher band, ensure that every point directly supports your stance on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'For example', 'however', and 'In conclusion', to link your thoughts. However, the use of these devices is sometimes a bit mechanical, and the transition between the second and third paragraphs could be smoother. Additionally, some sentences are slightly disjointed, such as 'The main reason why a country with a larger old population is considered a better place to life it is because of the life expectancy.' Improving the flow between sentences would enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'work force', 'pensions', and 'proportion'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing or incorrect word choices, such as 'expective of life' instead of 'life expectancy' and 'better place to life it' instead of 'better place to live'. There are also some minor spelling errors like 'disadvanges' and 'genaration'. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensure that your vocabulary is used accurately in context to convey your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, which is appropriate for this level. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement, such as 'the population are getting overall older' and 'places where the population are older'. There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, especially regarding pluralization and verb agreement, will help you achieve a higher band.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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