Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

At the present time , the population of many countries have more number of young adults rather than the number of older people. i think that have both advantages and disadvantages because in this time the people are not live old age like our past life and adult are more then elder reason of people birth child more then 2 or .

in first, the number of young people are more then the compared with the number of older people is good for the devlopment of country. for example if there are many young adult people in one countries they are doing good and work hard to do something for their countries and family. young people didn't have someone to handel them so. if less older people in countries then the goverment save more fund from oldage people vata.

in secondly, these have many disadvantages if only young adult are not doing well for something. they also need some suggest from their old parents. For instance, if more adult and less older in one city then this time we need equal people then what we should in that time? so the equal population are also need for sometimes. the one reason to less old people is die in young age in this era . this have effect our new generation. they also need some knowledge from their old people.

in conclusion, in my view of point this have both benefits and downside. because we need equal population in sometime. only young people never fulfill the oldest side.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is limited and often unclear. For instance, the argument regarding government funds is difficult to follow due to grammatical issues. The position is stated in the introduction and conclusion, but the supporting points lack depth and logical progression. The explanation of why older people are needed is vague, relying on general statements like 'they also need some knowledge' rather than specific, well-developed examples. To improve, you should focus on expanding each point with clear, logical reasoning and concrete examples that directly relate to the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as 'in first' and 'in secondly'. The progression of ideas is often disjointed, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Referencing is also unclear at times, particularly in the second paragraph where the connection between young adults and government funds is not logically linked. To improve, focus on using a wider range of linking words correctly and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally from the previous one to create a more cohesive argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, which restricts the ability to convey complex ideas. There are several instances of incorrect word choice, such as 'vata' and 'in my view of point'. The range of vocabulary is basic, and there is little attempt to use less common or more precise lexical items. Spelling errors, such as 'devlopment' and 'handel', are also present. To improve, you should aim to learn and use more topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics and economics, and focus on using words in their correct collocations to enhance the clarity and sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the population... have'), sentence structure, and word order. Complex sentence structures are attempted but are usually faulty, leading to confusion. For example, the sentence 'the one reason to less old people is die in young age in this era' is grammatically incorrect and unclear. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence structures, ensuring correct subject-verb agreement, and proofreading your work to identify and correct common errors in tense and word form.

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