Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-01

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In many countries, the proportion of young adults is relatively high compared with that of older people. I believed that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages of young adults.

Firstly, the population of young adults are lots of advantages like it grow up the economy of country. therefore, there is much need of young adults. In addition, skills of young adults can boost up the level of country. and provide excellent result in helping of growing in business field, mechanical field, in medical field. For example, if there is of software engineering skill with young individual so it will be helpful for us that they will make Ai robots, electrical cars and some others. that's why every country needs to have much young adults more than older age individual.

The disadvantages of huge number of adults are that that there is deficiency of employers. For example, if institute required 200 employers of software engineers and there are 400 applications submit for employment. In contrast, they haired 200 and the remaining 200 remain unemployed. so, the large number of young adults grow up the economy of country but on the other side it causes the unemployment in young generation. and cause jobs problems and large young population can put pressure on schools, universities and housing facilities.

In conclusion, despite the potential problems of unemployment and pressure on academic institutions. there is need of normal number of young adults to maintain the country economy and to solve problems of country. because they are valuable source for a country development.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a large young population. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention economic growth and unemployment, the arguments lack depth and specific evidence. For instance, the example regarding software engineers is somewhat confusing and does not fully illustrate the broader economic impact. The position is clear, but the supporting points are repetitive and lack the necessary elaboration to reach a higher band. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea with a clear link back to the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'therefore' and 'in addition'. Some transitions between sentences are abrupt, and the logical flow is occasionally hindered by grammatical errors. For example, the transition between the benefits of young adults and the specific example of software engineering is disjointed. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'lots of', 'grow up', and 'jobs problems'. There are also some issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'deficiency of employers' (when you mean a surplus of applicants) and 'haired' (instead of 'hired'). To improve, focus on learning topic-specific collocations related to economics and demographics, and try to use more sophisticated synonyms to avoid repetition and improve the academic tone of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('the population of young adults are'), incorrect verb forms ('it grow up'), and punctuation errors, such as starting sentences with lowercase letters or using fragments. The misuse of articles and prepositions is also noticeable. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like tense consistency and pluralisation, while gradually incorporating more complex, error-free structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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