Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some countries are currently having a large number of young adults in comparison to the total number of the older population. While this development can have some advantages, I believe that there are more significant disadvantages to a country.

One dimerit of having a large number of young people is the high rate of unemployment. This is mainly seen in cases where they graduate from universities and are unable to secure employment oportunities. Many young people have been seen flooding recreational areas and gambling sites in major cities in Kenya. Consequently, they end up getting addicted to drugs and misuse finances. Moreover, when a country has many unemoloyed youths, it experiences numerous cases of unrests because of unfavourable economy. These incidences of demonstrations have detrimental effects on the country's economy. Therefore, a country with youths being the majority with regards to the older generation faces alot of challenges.

There are some advantages of having few old people

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response is significantly under the required word count of 250 words, which severely limits the development of ideas. While you establish a clear position, the essay is incomplete; you mention advantages in the introduction but fail to develop them, as the text cuts off abruptly after the first sentence of the second body paragraph. To achieve a higher band, you must fully address all parts of the prompt by providing balanced arguments and supporting them with sufficient detail. The current lack of completion means the task is only partially addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay shows some logical organization in the first body paragraph, using cohesive devices like 'consequently' and 'moreover' to link ideas. However, the abrupt ending and the lack of a conclusion significantly disrupt the overall flow and structure. Paragraphing is present, but the incomplete nature of the second paragraph makes the progression of the argument unclear. To improve, ensure that each point is fully developed and that the essay concludes with a summary of your main arguments.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, though there are several spelling errors such as 'dimerit' (demerit), 'oportunities' (opportunities), and 'unemoloyed' (unemployed). You use some relevant topic-specific vocabulary like 'unemployment', 'recreational areas', and 'detrimental effects'. However, the range is limited by the brevity of the text. To reach a higher band, focus on accurate spelling and incorporating a wider variety of precise, academic collocations to express your ideas more fluently.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. For example, 'Some countries are currently having' should be 'Some countries currently have', and 'youths being the majority with regards to the older generation' is awkward phrasing. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and punctuation, such as 'alot' (a lot). While the meaning is generally clear, these errors occur frequently enough to impact the overall quality of the writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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