Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Currently, the number of the young adults outweighs the number of the older people in the population of some countries. This situation can create both conveniences and issues. This essay will discuss whether the advantages of this phenomenon are greater than the disadvantages, with relevant examples.

The development of a country largely depends on the contribution of the young adults. They are full of energy, enthusiasm and new ideas. As a results, they can contribute more to the society if they are greater in number. They can be a helping hand in every possible issues, calamity, as well as cellebrations. But, at the same time, they lack experience which sometimes may lead to wrong decisions and harm to the society.

On the other hand, the experience and guidance of aged people can lead younger ones on the accurate path. But unfortunately, they cannot match the energy of the young adults. Consequently, the required pace in an activity cannot be achieved easily with adults even if they are greater in number.

For the development of country, we need both the energy of the youth and the experience of the senior citizens. But advice can come out from on person whereas, an activity need more hands to be done. So, a mutual understanding between this two group can diminish the difference of their populaiton size.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the essay is significantly under the 250-word minimum requirement, which limits the depth of the arguments. While the position is clear, the ideas are underdeveloped; for instance, the mention of 'calamity' and 'celebrations' is vague and lacks specific examples or logical expansion. The conclusion attempts to synthesize the points but does not fully address the 'outweigh' aspect of the prompt, as it focuses more on the need for both groups rather than weighing the pros and cons. To improve, you must expand your supporting points with concrete examples and ensure the word count is met.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. Cohesive devices such as 'On the other hand' and 'Consequently' are used to link ideas. However, the progression of ideas is somewhat mechanical, and some transitions feel abrupt. The use of referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where 'this two group' refers back to the previously mentioned age demographics. Paragraphing is used appropriately, but the overall flow would benefit from more sophisticated linking words and a more cohesive structure that guides the reader through the argument more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and minor errors, such as 'every possible issues' (should be 'every possible issue') and 'populaiton' (spelling error). The word choice is somewhat repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'young adults' and 'older people'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, and ensure that your spelling is accurate throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'As a results' (should be 'As a result'), 'advice can come out from on person' (should be 'from one person'), and 'an activity need more hands' (should be 'needs'). Subject-verb agreement and pluralization are inconsistent. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and subject-verb agreement would significantly improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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