Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-02

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

There is no denying that the young people of the many countries have a large numbers then the number of the older people has become a common feature of the modern life across the globe. While the majority of people welcome this development because of its numerous advantages, others are quick to point to its drawbacks. The following paragraphs will examine both sides before offering a final assessment.

The most significant advantage is that the young people are more fit and more confident that the older people . For example, the some countries have a large number of young people like India, America etc. A further benefit worth mentioning is that the population of the young people are very beneficial because have a lot of energy and power to work a lot rather than the older once as illustrated by the young people.

On the other hand, this trend is not without its drawbacks. First, in other some countries have large population of the older people. Second, the main disadvantages of the large population of the young population in many countries are that the death rate of the older people are now increase. Finally, we also work on that things because when we focus on the take care of the older people so the death rate will be decreased and this is only happens when we have to focus on the people diet.

In conclusion, neither the advantages nor the disadvantages of the population of the people in the many countries can be dismissed outright; this issue is best understood as a mixture of both. On balance, however, I strongly believe that the young people are energetic than the older people should not be underestimated.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. For instance, the argument regarding 'energy and power' is stated but not sufficiently supported with clear reasoning or relevant examples. The mention of India and America is superficial and does not explain how these countries benefit from their demographics. Furthermore, the third paragraph is confusing, as it shifts focus to the death rate of older people without clearly linking it back to the prompt's core question. To improve, you should provide more detailed explanations and concrete examples for each point raised.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive start. However, the progression of ideas is often unclear. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes inaccurate, such as the transition 'Finally, we also work on that things' in the third paragraph, which lacks logical connection to the previous sentence. Referencing is also problematic; for example, the phrase 'as illustrated by the young people' at the end of the second paragraph is vague and does not effectively link to the preceding argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the flow of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive, relying heavily on basic terms like 'young people', 'older people', and 'large number'. There is little evidence of less common lexical items or an awareness of collocation. Phrases such as 'more fit' and 'the death rate of the older people are now increase' demonstrate a lack of precision and grammatical control over word forms. To reach a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to demographics and socio-economic trends, and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'the population of the young people are' and 'the death rate... are now increase'. Additionally, sentence structures are often simplistic or fragmented, such as 'For example, the some countries have a large number of young people like India, America etc.' The use of articles is also inconsistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.