Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-03

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The population of some countries growing very fast and the surprising thing is that the number of adults is more then old. It have some advantages such as the productivity is increased.

The young blood is active and they have more courage to try new things and also adults do their work more quickly then old. If the speed of work is increased the productivity is also increased The young stunners are motivated they do their 100 percent to work. The old people become lazy they do not have power to do hardwork. Nowadays, I personally observe that adults are hardworkers they try to acheive efficeincy in every feild. They learn new things in less time.

However, The old people have experience they spend their all life to gain experience but the bodies of old people become weak. The best way to share knowledge is that hire old people as supervisors. Adults are moniter by old so they suggest best according to their experience. For example, In my most of the department;; the head of department is old people and adult do their work more properly by the advised of old peoples. If the work is divided it become best partnership young do hardwork and old handle mangment.

In conclusion, In my perception old people are important in our life we do not remove them from work we can take advantages from their experience. However, adults are motivated they do their best in guidence of old people. I personally think that old people do their best for our soceity

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is limited. The argument relies on generalizations, such as labeling older people as 'lazy' and lacking 'power,' which lacks nuance and academic depth. While a position is stated, the supporting points are repetitive and lack specific, well-developed examples. The conclusion attempts to balance the views, but the overall analysis remains superficial. To improve, you should provide more balanced, objective reasoning and avoid stereotypical language, focusing instead on economic or social impacts like innovation versus pension burdens.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between ideas is often mechanical. Transitions like 'However' and 'For example' are used, but the logical progression within paragraphs is weak. For instance, the transition from discussing productivity to the role of older people as supervisors feels abrupt. Referencing is sometimes unclear, such as in the phrase 'In my most of the department;; the head of department is old people.' The use of cohesive devices is basic and occasionally repetitive, which hinders the smooth development of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. You rely on informal or non-standard phrasing such as 'young blood,' 'young stunners,' and 'do their 100 percent.' There are also frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'adults are moniter by old' and 'advised of old peoples.' Spelling errors like 'acheive,' 'efficeincy,' 'feild,' 'soceity,' and 'mangment' are frequent and occasionally distract the reader. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of academic vocabulary and ensure accurate spelling and word formation.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that impede clarity. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('the number of adults is more then old'), article usage, and pluralization ('old people' vs 'old peoples'). Sentence structures are predominantly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors, such as 'If the speed of work is increased the productivity is also increased.' Punctuation is also problematic, particularly the use of double semicolons and missing commas. A greater variety of error-free complex structures is required to move beyond a band 5.

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