Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-03
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In many countries, the population now contain a great number of young adults as compared to elder people. this essay present both the opportunities and challenges, and evaluating advantages is outweigh of disadvantages depend on how the nation manages its resources.
Advantages of having young population is the potential for economical growth. young adults often bring energy in technology skills and creativity in the workforce. This can boost innovation in sector, IT, manufacturing and education. For example in South Korea young people skill workplace play a crucial role in technology advancement and global competitions. Additionally large proportion of young working on governments jobs.
Disadvantages of young population can put burden on public services. Education system struggle to hold growing numbers of students, and job companies face challenges to provide employment for all. large number of unemployment lead increase crime rates and social unrest. Moreover with fewer young people put the impact on older people healthcare and pension shortages.
In conclusion, young people drive economic and social development, carefully planning is needed to manage the pressure of resources. Advantages is outweigh than disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 182 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas, which remain superficial and under-developed. While the essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, the lack of depth prevents a full exploration of the topic. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments, such as the mention of South Korea or the impact on public services, are too brief to be considered well-extended. To improve, you must expand your arguments with more detailed explanations and specific examples to meet the length requirement and provide a more comprehensive analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and limited. For instance, the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. There are also issues with referencing and sentence-level flow, such as the phrase 'Advantages of having young population is...' which lacks proper article usage and connective flow. While the overall structure is coherent, the lack of sophisticated linking words and the brevity of the response limit the ability to demonstrate a higher level of cohesive management.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'great number', 'boost', and 'burden'. There are also instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'economical growth' (should be 'economic growth') and 'young people skill workplace' (which is unclear). To achieve a higher score, you should aim to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, such as 'demographic dividend' or 'socio-economic implications', and ensure that words are used in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('population now contain', 'Advantages is outweigh'), missing articles ('in sector', 'in technology skills'), and awkward phrasing ('evaluating advantages is outweigh of disadvantages'). While there is an attempt to use complex structures, these are often marred by errors. The sentence construction is generally simple, and the lack of variety in sentence structure limits the demonstration of grammatical range. Focusing on basic accuracy, particularly subject-verb agreement and article usage, is essential for improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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