Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the recent times, younger population is comparatively higher in proportion than elderly ones in some parts of the world. In my opinion, this phenomenon brings far more significant benefits that certainly outnumber its drawbacks.

Having higher percentages of young adults in a country can be far more advantageous. The most obvious benefit is the development of innovative and creative ideas. To put it another way, the fresh and innovative mind of these tech-savvy people allows them to come up with creative ideas that may ensure the progress of that particular nation in terms of art and innovation. Apart from this, the fewer the older people will be in a country, the fewer the government will be pressurized. To be more specific, since the older population is incapable physically and psychologically to make any contributions to the nation's growth, it is not more than a burden for the government. A big chunk of money of invested in pension schemes and old age homes which could be used somewhere else if there would be few older people in a country. Japan, for instance, has its population mostly consist of young adults who has brought the country among top-notch innovative and technology-master nations at global level. Japan is the best example that can be ever given to prove how beneficial it actually is to have lower proportions of elderly population.

Nevertheless, in spite of countless benefits, its sole but considerable drawback cannot be neglected. The dismal side of this tendency demonstrates how the drop in older population would result in lack of experienced people. It is inevitable that nobody learns everything from very first day and certainly, it takes years and years to attain tonnes of experience. However, if there would be no older people anymore, who would teach the young ones about the morals, ethics and spiritual values. Therefore, it is imperative for a country to have older population.

In conclusion, despite numerous benefits, it has its own shortcomings that cannot be overl

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt and maintains a clear position throughout. The arguments regarding economic growth and innovation are relevant, though the claim that older people are 'incapable physically and psychologically' is a significant over-generalization that weakens the academic tone. The essay is incomplete, as it cuts off mid-sentence in the conclusion, which prevents a full development of the final summary. While the main ideas are extended, the lack of a finished conclusion impacts the overall task fulfillment. To improve, ensure that arguments are balanced and that the essay is fully completed within the time limit.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a (partial) conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Apart from this', 'To be more specific', and 'Nevertheless' are used to guide the reader. However, the progression is interrupted by the abrupt ending of the text. Referencing is generally clear, though some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the failure to complete the final sentence affects the overall flow and coherence of the piece.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'tech-savvy', 'top-notch', and 'imperative'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'the fewer the government will be pressurized' (should be 'the less pressure the government will face') and 'tonnes of experience' (too informal). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but more precise academic collocations would elevate the score. The incomplete ending also limits the demonstration of a wider range of vocabulary.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'Japan... has its population mostly consist of young adults who has brought' (subject-verb agreement error) and 'In the recent times' (incorrect article usage). While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher band score. The control of punctuation is generally good, but the incomplete final sentence is a significant structural flaw. Increasing the variety of complex structures while focusing on accuracy in subject-verb agreement would be beneficial.

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