Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is often argued that the enormous number of population contains pros and cons based on the age dependency. While some individuals contend that the larger population of young adults enable to promote economic development rather than larger number of the elderly. I firmly believe that the relatively large number of young adolescents consist more advantages, which l will discuss numerous reasons in this essay.
On one hand, the large population of young adults illustrate the abundant support for the elderly which promote domestic’s economic development. For instance, the gross development profit (GDP) rate allow to calculate the average economic gain from domestic’s citizens, which enhance the rise of GDP rate for the country consist largely of youngsters. To illustrate, when retires lives in domestic, it is inevitable to approach for financial support like pension and health care services which cause additional payment, pressure, and demanding process for young generation to responsible all of those significant process.
On the other hand, there are far more compelling arguments supporting opposite opinion which emphasize that the present of the elderly illustrates the stability of domestic. The main rationale is that the country is well constructed for the citizens to maintain their life in long-term. To demonstrate, the local community and society could be more considerable about the elderly with respect, wisdom, and compassion through their life experiences.
Ultimately, despite the apparent advantages of the large number of the elderly in country, the rise of domestic GDP rate from relatively the large number of youngsters presents a far more crucial issue.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the development of ideas is inconsistent. While the essay attempts to argue for the benefits of young adults, the explanation regarding GDP is vague and lacks a clear logical link to the prompt. The counter-argument regarding the elderly is also underdeveloped, as it focuses on abstract concepts like 'wisdom' without clearly contrasting them with the economic benefits mentioned earlier. The position is clear, but the supporting arguments lack the depth required for a higher band score.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow between and within them is often mechanical or confusing. For example, the transition 'On the other hand, there are far more compelling arguments supporting opposite opinion' is followed by a paragraph that does not clearly explain why those arguments are 'compelling'. The use of cohesive devices is sometimes awkward, such as 'To illustrate' used twice in the same paragraph with repetitive content. Referencing is occasionally unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of the argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of incorrect word choice and collocation, such as 'domestic’s economic development' (should be 'domestic economic development' or 'the country's economic development') and 'the present of the elderly' (should be 'the presence'). The phrase 'gross development profit' is an incorrect term for GDP (Gross Domestic Product). While the student attempts to use academic vocabulary, the inaccuracies frequently impede the clarity of the message.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that affect readability. There are issues with subject-verb agreement, such as 'the larger population of young adults enable' (should be 'enables') and 'when retires lives' (should be 'when retirees live'). Sentence structures are often repetitive or fragmented, and there is a lack of control over complex sentence forms. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of apostrophes and commas. These errors occur throughout the text and occasionally cause difficulty for the reader.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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