Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-04
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays, many countries have a relatively large number of young adults compared with older people. This situation has both advantages and disadvantages. In my opinion, the advantages of having a young population outweigh the disadvantages because the young people greatly contributed in the economy of the country. They played an important role in the fields of life. Because, they are very energetic and finished there work in short time. They worked in different fields like working at shops, hospitals, different companyes for the progress of country. They are very important part of society. If they do there duties honestly, country get progress. They produce high technology for the betterment of country. If they work very hard and pay attention on there working country developed rapidly.
On the other hand, old people can not do work energetically. They can not play there role in the progress of country because, they are old. That is why, the young peoples are important for the country. A lot of money spent on the illness of old people. there are many dues we are spent on old peoples. That is why, the young peoples are played important role as compared to old mans.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 198 words. This significantly impacts the development of ideas. While you state a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, the arguments are repetitive and lack depth. You mention that young people contribute to the economy and technology, but these points are not supported with specific examples or detailed reasoning. The discussion regarding older people is also underdeveloped and relies on generalizations. To improve, you must expand your arguments with concrete examples and ensure you meet the length requirement to allow for a full exploration of the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into two paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is limited. While you use basic cohesive devices like 'On the other hand' and 'Because', the flow is often interrupted by repetitive sentence structures and simplistic transitions. The paragraphing is functional, but the internal logic within paragraphs is weak because ideas are not linked effectively to form a cohesive argument. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the lack of variety in linking words makes the text feel mechanical. To improve, focus on using a wider range of cohesive devices and ensuring each sentence logically follows the previous one.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive. You frequently use simple terms like 'work', 'country', and 'important', which limits your ability to express complex ideas. There are several spelling errors, such as 'companyes' and 'there' (used incorrectly for 'their'). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to demonstrate the flexibility required for higher bands. To improve, you should aim to incorporate more topic-specific vocabulary related to demographics, economics, and social policy, and pay closer attention to word choice and spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement, pluralization (e.g., 'young peoples', 'old mans'), and the misuse of homophones like 'there' instead of 'their'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with several sentences starting with 'Because' or 'That is why' in a way that disrupts the flow. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors and the lack of complex sentence structures prevent a higher score. Focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common grammatical slips.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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