Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-04

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Today, some countries have comparatively large young generation as compared to older individuals. Such states have more power to overcome their shortcomings because of more will power of young people who are keen to do something strange for the world. As a result, this proved to be a plus point for such societies and positive aspects of it strongly outweigh the negative ones.

There are two main reasons behind this view. The first one is that the young minds are more imaginative and can design the whole situation according to their perspective without any fear. They are not fearful about the consequences and do openly that they want. For instance, Arfa Karim, the shining star of Pakistan, was just nine years old when she gained her 1st victory in the field of technology and got the worldwide recognition in such a small age. It happened just because of her high values and dreams in order to do something new and meaningful. She did not care about her health just to made herself above the ordinary and achieved extraordinary. The reason for this example is just to explain how a young mind works. There is no limitation for a growing man and if he wants, he can touch the skies.

The other view about its positive results is that older people do not have such courage and zeal to get something because they are somewhat confused about their skills and talents and it is the true also. But in case of youngsters, they have no doubt in their skills and they belief in themselves that they can do anything they desire. Moreover, they are more active and fit physically as compared to older citizens and can do more work all the day without being tired. All these things make them more beneficial for their motherland because the other nations like UK, Canada, Germany and USA, who do not have much young adults, are demanding them from all over the globe to cover their weak points and to make their labor force.

In conclusion, such nation who have their own growing youngsters never needs any foreign person in it so it is a great blessing for having such population.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by taking a clear position that the advantages of a large young population outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant, such as the energy and innovation of youth. However, the development is somewhat uneven. The argument regarding older people is a generalization that lacks nuance, and the example of Arfa Karim is slightly tangential as it focuses on individual achievement rather than the broader societal impact of a young population. To reach a higher band, you should focus on developing the economic and social implications more thoroughly, ensuring that the arguments are balanced and logically supported throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the argument. There is a logical progression from the introduction to the body paragraphs and the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'The reason for this example is...' or 'The other view...'. Additionally, some transitions between sentences feel abrupt. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'such nations') is used more precisely would enhance the flow and coherence of the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing for clear communication of ideas. You use some topic-specific terms like 'labor force' and 'worldwide recognition'. However, there are instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'do something strange' (which likely means 'innovative') and 'made herself above the ordinary'. There are also minor errors in collocation, such as 'in such a small age' instead of 'at such a young age'. To improve, focus on using more precise academic collocations and avoiding informal or imprecise expressions.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'some countries have comparatively large young generation' (missing article), 'it is the true also' (incorrect word order/usage), and 'such nation who have' (subject-verb agreement). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are some awkward sentence constructions that hinder the flow. To achieve a higher score, you should aim for more error-free complex sentences and pay closer attention to articles, subject-verb agreement, and preposition usage.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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