Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-05
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Nowadays, population of some countries is growing with a large number of young adults as compared to the elderly people. However, there are both pros and cons of increase in the number of young generations. I will discuss some of the reasons why old age people are fewer at the present time and some of the challenges to be overcome.
Let's begin by looking at the advantages of the rise in the number of individuals in early adulthood. One of the main positives of increasingly emerging adults is that they bring new ideas for innovation which could help in creating new skills and solutions. What I mean by this is that adults at a very young age are more motivated and focused on their goals as compared to old age people. For instance, many young students at the present time are contributing to the society through their technological skills which are helpful for making our lives easier. This can make you build a better lifestyle.
Secondly, they can benefit their economy with the productivity and skills. Take a student who has been expert in the field of artificial intelligence for an example. In addition, these young adolescents could help in building a better future of a country.
Turning to the other side pf the argument, elderly people are dependent on others because of their health problems. To be more precise, they are often facing several health-related problems. Let's use a patient suffering from dementia as an example. This often leads to severe mental health problems too. For instance, dementia patients may suffer from memory loss due to which they are not able to do things on their own. It could lead to stress and anxiety which could make outcomes even worse.
Personally, I believe the benefits in terms of young citizens providing numerous ways for a better development of the country eventually outweigh any negatives.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a young population. However, the task asks for an evaluation of whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. While you state your position in the conclusion, the body paragraphs focus more on describing the groups rather than directly comparing the impact of a young population versus an aging one. The discussion on the elderly is somewhat tangential, as it focuses on the challenges of dementia rather than the societal implications of a demographic imbalance. To improve, ensure each paragraph directly links back to the core question of whether the 'youth-heavy' situation is net-positive or negative for a country.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is logically organized into paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Secondly', and 'Turning to the other side'. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the connection between sentences could be smoother. For example, the transition from discussing young people's skills to the economy is abrupt. Additionally, the use of referencing is occasionally unclear; for instance, 'This can make you build a better lifestyle' is vague and does not clearly refer back to the previous point about technological skills. Improving the variety of linking words would enhance the flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on repetitive phrasing such as 'young adults', 'old age people', and 'health-related problems'. There are some inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'increasingly emerging adults', which is not a standard collocation. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more sophisticated vocabulary related to demographics and socio-economic impacts, such as 'demographic dividend', 'fiscal burden', or 'technological innovation', and avoid repeating the same basic descriptors throughout the essay.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are several grammatical errors that persist. For example, 'population of some countries is growing' should include an article ('the population'). You also have issues with word forms, such as 'old age people' instead of 'elderly people' or 'older generations'. There are also minor punctuation and phrasing issues, such as 'other side pf the argument'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focus on subject-verb agreement and correct article usage.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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