Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-06
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 6.5)
These days, in many countries, there is a majority of young people compared with the elderly people. Here arises a debate whether the merits of such a trend are more or not. Although there are some valid arguments regarding the potential drawbacks of a considerable number of young demographics such as increased demand for resources, this essay contends that having more adults is beneficial for a country, particularly for the economy and defense system of the nation.
There are a plentiful of benefits of having more number of youngsters in a country, yet the predominant one is increased gross domestic product of the country (GDP). This is mainly because young adults are often more energetic and eager to work, which, in turn, helps them to contribute to society through taxes. Consequently, it all helps to improve the economy of the nation. Besides this, due to young age, most of them have more stamina and enthusiasm compared with older generation, as a result, they can make a stronger arm forces, leading to stronger defense system. For instance, if a country have a significant number of youngsters, due to their stamina and participation, it most likely to have better army and police forces.
Despite having many upsides of more younger ones in a country, it also creates some challenges, especially for the government. Since it would lead to surged demand for more employment opportunities, and other resources. This would be difficult for the nation, generally for the developing or underdeveloped ones, because they might have insufficient resources.
In conclusion, even though more younger population might make it challenging for the state, in terms of the accessibility of resources, their advantages are far more than its disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 7.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 7.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.0 |
| Overall | 6.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0
The essay addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages of a young population outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas regarding economic growth and national defense are relevant and logically developed. However, the development of the disadvantages is somewhat brief compared to the advantages, which creates a slight imbalance in the argument. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more specific examples or deeper analysis for the counter-arguments, ensuring that the discussion of the 'disadvantages' is as robust as the 'advantages' section. Overall, the response is well-focused and maintains a consistent stance throughout.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'Consequently', and 'Despite' to link ideas effectively. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the paragraphing could be improved by ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that fully encapsulates the main idea. Referencing is generally clear, but there are instances where the flow between sentences could be smoother. Overall, the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow, meeting the requirements for a Band 7.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'demographics', 'stamina', and 'enthusiasm'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'a plentiful of benefits' (should be 'a plethora of' or 'plentiful benefits') and 'make a stronger arm forces' (should be 'form stronger armed forces'). These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of your writing. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While you attempt complex sentences, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'if a country have' (subject-verb agreement error: 'has') and 'it most likely to have' (missing verb: 'it is most likely'). Additionally, there are minor punctuation and article usage issues throughout. While these errors do not prevent the reader from understanding your meaning, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and ensuring all clauses have a main verb will significantly improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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