Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-07

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

Population of some countries in which we inclued the yoing adults and older people.

First of all, we discuss about the young adults and their mindset and etc. The young adults are very lazy and they can't know the anything. The young adults are increase day by day and it may be affect the population of the country. We see that there are many peoples that cannot do any work and also use the mobile day and night. The population increase day by day but the youngs hav't any talent and experience about work. We can suggest them about there aim and suggest some work for talent.

Secondly, we talk about older people and population effect on countries. The older people are less active than youngs one but they have courage about work. They have methods to do work. They are classify the work and then do it. Older peoples are not strong enough but do their work with passion.

Advantages: Young peoples are very strong and their population are greater than older ones. The young peoples are not any courage and talent but older peoples are very talented.

Disavantages: Young peoples can help in increasing tge population but older peoles can't hepl it. Older people are less reliable and their accuracy is low.

In both terms, they both have very important part in population. We see the effect of peoples population and what happen after the population increase and decrease. In my opinion, Population can cause major effects on many countries.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response addresses the topic but fails to develop a clear position. The arguments are contradictory and lack logical support. For instance, you describe young adults as 'lazy' and lacking talent, yet later state they are 'very strong'. The essay does not clearly weigh the advantages against the disadvantages as requested. The ideas are repetitive and lack the necessary depth for an academic essay. To improve, ensure you have a clear thesis statement in the introduction and provide well-reasoned, consistent arguments in each body paragraph that directly answer the prompt.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay uses basic cohesive devices like 'First of all' and 'Secondly', but the progression of ideas is disjointed. The paragraphing is present, but the content within the paragraphs lacks a logical flow. The sentences are often disconnected, making it difficult for the reader to follow your argument. The conclusion does not effectively summarize the main points or provide a final thought, instead repeating vague statements about population. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic words like 'work', 'people', and 'population' without demonstrating a range of academic vocabulary. There are also significant issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'the youngs hav't any talent' and 'they can't know the anything'. These errors sometimes make the meaning unclear. To reach a higher band, you need to move beyond basic vocabulary and incorporate more precise, topic-specific terminology related to demographics and socio-economic impacts.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are issues with subject-verb agreement ('the youngs hav't'), incorrect sentence structure ('Population of some countries in which we inclued...'), and misuse of articles and prepositions. The range of sentence structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences. There is a lack of complex structures, and the errors in basic grammar are pervasive throughout the text. Focusing on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb forms is essential.

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