Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-08
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Today the modern world face many challenges.In some of these challanges there are also problem of overpopulation in several countries.There is also major cause is that young people not live more.
In many countries death rate is very low.People live their life more than the previous generation. People do not became older fastly because they manage their routine properly.They done their work according to their plan.They maintain their diet.For example my cousin who is 45 years old.But he looks very young at this age.Everyone ask hin how they manage their work at this age accuratly. He told us he only focus on his diet and the plan which he made foe their work.He also go to the gym regularly which made me fit and attractive.
There are many advantages of this.The large number of young people is very good for the country and their families.They are good for country because when a people is young so than he try to work better for his country.He wanted to see his country to be successfull in front of the world.It is also good for his family because a young people do everything to bring smile on his family.He wanted to see his childerns achieve big things than he made celebration for them.
If a thing have advantages it is more possible to have some disadvantage.If a person live long and didnot died timely than it is big concerns for goverenment to provide food to every one. It is also chance that a country suffer from overpopulation which is not good sign for country.
In conclusion large number of young people is good for the country but it is also concerns of the overpopulation.So everything needs proper managment.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but struggles with clarity and focus. While you identify both advantages and disadvantages, the argument is often tangential. For instance, the second paragraph focuses on personal health and aging rather than the societal implications of a young population. The position is somewhat clear, but the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. To improve, ensure that every sentence directly relates to the specific question of how a large young population impacts a country, rather than discussing individual fitness or personal anecdotes. The conclusion is brief and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. While you use some cohesive devices like 'For example' and 'In conclusion', the connections between sentences are often mechanical or confusing. For example, the transition between the discussion of health and the advantages of a young population is abrupt. Referencing is also inconsistent, making it difficult for the reader to follow the flow of your argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive, which restricts your ability to express complex ideas. You rely on basic terms like 'good', 'work', and 'problem'. There are also several instances of incorrect word choice and word formation, such as 'fastly' (instead of 'quickly') and 'accuratly' (instead of 'accurately'). Some phrases are unnatural, such as 'didnot died timely'. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use a wider range of vocabulary, including collocations and more precise academic terms, while paying closer attention to word forms and spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a high frequency of grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are frequent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the modern world face', 'a people is young'), article usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are simple, and attempts at more complex structures often result in errors, such as 'He wanted to see his country to be successfull'. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring subjects and verbs agree, and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb tenses.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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