Band 4.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-08

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.0)

At the today time, the young population of many countries are becoming widespread around the world rather than number of older people because of large family.

I will clarify both concept as it is the typical concept population all the country.

And my idea will definitely clear my notion of this topic.

I think that, it is totally depend on our current situation due to keeping extremely fit than older people. However, the one of the most biggest issue in all international town, temporary marriage in addition, this factor really impacting our environment.

Nowadays, many people are becoming more addicted by socializations online finding girls and useless things.

And second reason of young people generation comparative with amount of older people quite fit in many countries for example, Canada, UK, Australia, and United Arab of Emirates.

If I analyze this very important of concept, this is working both sides positive and negative and we want to compare older people rather than adults, so I seemed, the oldest people are better than other nevertheless they have a lot of experience and caring for negibhobour and family or around the people.

In many countries, the oldest teenagers are well in few things, balance in life and run and walking a bit pretty in another country such as, Italy, German, Japan and, Brazil.

In conclusion, this essay give the compare adults and older people in population in some relative areas.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to address the prompt effectively. While it mentions young and older populations, the ideas are disjointed and lack logical development. The essay does not clearly state a position on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages, and the arguments provided (e.g., 'temporary marriage', 'addicted by socializations') are largely irrelevant or unclear. Furthermore, the response is under the 250-word minimum, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. The content is repetitive and fails to provide a coherent analysis of the topic, resulting in a very limited response to the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.0

The essay lacks a logical progression of ideas. Paragraphs are poorly structured, and the transition between sentences is often abrupt or confusing, such as the shift from 'temporary marriage' to 'socializations online'. Cohesive devices are used incorrectly or in a mechanical, repetitive fashion (e.g., 'And second reason', 'In conclusion'). The lack of clear topic sentences makes it difficult for the reader to follow the writer's train of thought. The overall organization is fragmented, failing to create a cohesive argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.0

The vocabulary is limited and often used incorrectly, which frequently impedes communication. Phrases like 'At the today time' and 'international town' are non-standard and demonstrate a lack of control over basic collocations. There is significant repetition of simple words, and the attempt to use more complex vocabulary results in errors that obscure the intended meaning (e.g., 'the oldest teenagers are well in few things'). The range is insufficient to express complex ideas clearly.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The response contains frequent grammatical errors that make the text difficult to read. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'the young population... are becoming'), article usage, and sentence structure. Complex sentence attempts are often fragmented or grammatically incorrect, such as 'this essay give the compare adults and older people'. Punctuation is also inconsistent. The range of structures is very limited, and the high frequency of errors causes significant strain on the reader.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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