Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-09

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Several countries today has large populations, with substantially high amount of young individuals as compared to old citizens. There are benefits and detriments to this simultaneously. This essay will discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this population structure.

On the one hand, having highly dense amount of the population to be young adults over elderly people, brings tangible benefits to society. Young adults strive in education, technology, and sports, which essentially enables to gain recognition globally. By having such high-skilled young people, it allows them to gradually represent the country in the long term. Furthermore, young people are physically more active than old people which further gives them a chance of building more skyscrapers and large structures within the country, giving the country a sophisticated reputation. These young adults can also possess skills that are worthy as a tourist attraction, attracting foreign visitors into the country. Commonly, old people cannot function in an energetic way which restricts them from greatly contributing to the country as much as the younger generation. For example, a group of young adults that are active and considerate enough to clean a local lake filled with waste, they could quite conveniently gain global recognition for their initiative, whereas the elderly people are least likely to do so.

On the other hand, with a wrong influence on the young adults, they could be a big hurdle to the overall development of the country. Old people are known to possess more knowledge and experience that they have collected over their lifetimes which can be vital for many younger people. A good amount of old people would have sound understanding of fields like science or finance, would remarkably contribute more than younger ones as they may not be as aware. With a high possibility of young adults undergoing wrong influence, as they are more vulnerable to it, elderly individuals are less likely to have such unstable characteristics. For example, a teenager would be easily addicted to smoking or drinking without knowing its consequences, however an older person is more knowledgeable about the health risks, which allows them to be more wise.

In conclusion, although older people are more considerate about their actions and possess more intellect about certain fields, younger people are more probable to strive and contribute to the country and society at a larger scale, respectively.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both sides of the argument and maintains a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, such as the economic contribution of young adults versus the wisdom of the elderly. However, some arguments are slightly underdeveloped or rely on generalizations, such as the claim that young people are inherently better at building skyscrapers or that the elderly cannot contribute energetically. While the prompt is addressed, the supporting examples, particularly the lake cleaning scenario, are a bit simplistic. To reach a higher band, you should provide more nuanced analysis of the societal implications rather than focusing on physical activity levels as the primary differentiator between age groups.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand,' 'Furthermore,' and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel slightly mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, but the link between the 'wrong influence' argument and the 'overall development of the country' could be more explicitly connected to ensure a tighter flow of logic throughout the second body paragraph.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'detriments,' 'sophisticated reputation,' and 'vulnerable.' However, there are some issues with word choice and collocation. For instance, 'highly dense amount of the population' is awkward; 'a large proportion of the population' would be more natural. Similarly, 'strive in education' is not the standard collocation; 'excel in education' would be more precise. While your vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, it lacks the flexibility and precision required for higher bands, and some phrasing remains slightly unnatural.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('Several countries today has' instead of 'have') and incorrect article usage ('a relatively large number of young adults' is correct, but 'a high-skilled young people' is grammatically incorrect). Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'enables to gain recognition.' While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for basic agreement and article usage to improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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