Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-09
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In the recent era, there are high number of population growth has been seen in many countries which includes the enormous amount of young adults as compared to the older people. The growth of youth is not always a advantage for a country. Both the advantages and disadvantages are discussed further.
The growing generation is very beneficial to a country. One of the major advantage could be high number of innovations and new findings which can be helpful for a country. Furthermore, the young adults are taking more interest in entrepreneurship rather than corporate jobs which surge the economy of a country. For example, India now have highest number of young adults in country which helps to maintain the fourth position in world economy.
Nevertheless, there are also some disadvantages of large growth of youth. The older people plays an important role in a country. They are well knowledgeable and have insights to run a country. However, the culture and heritage only comes from the elder people, they can teach our new generation about our old legacy, and culture of our nation. Moreover, the older people can be helpful for new findings as they have seen more history than young people.
To conclude this, in my opinion, the disadvantages of large amount of young adults outcomes the advantages. Although, both the generation are helpful for the growth of any nation, the youth of a country are future and older people are the history and heritage of a country.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which negatively impacts the task achievement score. While you present a clear position, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding older people providing 'culture and heritage' is a valid point, but it lacks specific examples or deeper analysis to fully support your stance. The conclusion states that disadvantages outweigh advantages, but the body paragraphs do not provide a sufficiently balanced or detailed comparison to justify this conclusion. To improve, ensure you expand on your points with more detailed explanations and ensure you meet the minimum length requirement to avoid a penalty.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, which helps the reader follow your argument. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'Nevertheless', and 'To conclude this'. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the transition between the advantages and disadvantages could be smoother. The referencing is generally clear, but the overall progression of ideas feels a bit repetitive in the final paragraph. To improve, try to use a wider variety of linking words and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence that directly relates to your overall thesis statement.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'high number of population growth' and 'enormous amount of young adults', which are slightly unnatural. There are also some minor word choice errors, such as 'outcomes' instead of 'outweighs'. To achieve a higher score, you should aim to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and collocations related to demographics and economics, such as 'demographic dividend' or 'intergenerational knowledge transfer', and ensure that your word choices are contextually accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'there are high number of population growth has been seen', which is a run-on construction, and 'the older people plays', which shows a subject-verb agreement error. Additionally, there are issues with article usage and pluralization, such as 'a advantage' instead of 'an advantage'. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to limit your score. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage to improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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