Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-10
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In contemporary society, increasing numbers of population of various countries they include an extremely large number of youngsters, compare with the older individuals. It mainly due to older people have like to spend their lives in villages. This change is very beneficial for countries economy and growth and also multiple advantage for countries. The explanation will be discussed in the upcoming paragraphs with valid reasons and examples.
To begin with, there are ample of reasons having large numbers of young people in countries. Fiest and fore most reason, youngsters work hard for society and countries economy. To elaborate, some young individuals initiate campaign for the government awareness, expand growth of digital marketing, and campaign for the environmental problems. Therefore, they do work hard for the various publicity of economic growth. For example, in India youngsters creates various campaign programmes for the education and protection for woman in society.
Furthermore, another important reason is they have enough knowledge about technology and innovation of various machines. In recent era, many companies launch highly efficient technology equipment for faster and convenient work these types of instruments cannot operate by the older peoples. As a result, companies mostly higher young people as an employee. For instance, countries such as Canada invent high infrastructures equipment's for the healthcare and IT department they easy to operate by the youngsters.
On the other hand, older peoples are also playing a vital role for countries. they save environment through villages and protect environment for the economy. Many older people in villages plant a various type of trees in their home and villages. As a result, surrounding improves thorough fresh air and clean atmosphere.
In conclusion, therefore many countries include large numbers of the youngster generation this is advantages for them because they are work hard and have an enough knowledge for the growth of the economy.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of a large young population, but the development is somewhat uneven. While you provide reasons such as economic contribution and technological proficiency, the discussion regarding the disadvantages is very limited and lacks depth. You mention older people in the final body paragraph, but this section does not clearly contrast or weigh the disadvantages against the advantages as requested by the prompt. To improve, ensure you explicitly state your position in the introduction and provide a more balanced analysis that directly addresses the 'outweigh' aspect of the question.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, 'Fiest and fore most' (likely meant 'First and foremost') and 'In recent era' are used to signal transitions, but the flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the final paragraph where the connection between the points made and the conclusion is weak. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help create a smoother progression of ideas.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it is limited and contains several errors in word choice and collocation. Phrases like 'higher young people' (should be 'hire') and 'invent high infrastructures equipment's' demonstrate a lack of precision. There is also some repetition of basic vocabulary like 'countries' and 'youngsters'. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise academic collocations and ensure that word forms (e.g., 'equipment' vs 'equipments') are used correctly. Your current range is sufficient to convey meaning but lacks the flexibility required for higher bands.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('youngsters creates', 'they is advantages'), article usage, and incorrect verb forms ('cannot operate by the older peoples'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, particularly with pluralisation and verb tense consistency, to improve your overall control.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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