Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 4.5)

Population varies to the every country specially young people. In every country number of young people have more then older ones that country starts more progress then other. I totally agree population of some countries including young generation was tha main source for our progress of country. Young peoples was more workout then older ones. Especially young generation have back bone of the country.

Young adults was more workout then the elders. Adults have lot of energy in different workout for every time. Adults perform the different progress them different fields to works them that have increased the value of our country. Young generation also give new ideas to perform our work in different time. Adults can perform different work for different time for our progress them our country.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 129 words. This significant under-length severely limits the development of ideas. While the student attempts to address the prompt by arguing that young adults are the 'backbone' of a country, the arguments are repetitive and lack specific examples or depth. The position is clear, but the lack of elaboration on the disadvantages or a balanced discussion means the task is only partially addressed. To improve, the student must expand on their points with concrete evidence and ensure all parts of the prompt are explored in detail.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear logical progression. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the ideas within the paragraphs are repetitive and lack cohesive links. The transition between sentences is often abrupt, and the use of cohesive devices is minimal or inaccurate (e.g., 'Especially young generation have back bone'). The lack of a clear introduction and conclusion further hinders the overall structure. To improve, the student should focus on using linking words such as 'furthermore', 'consequently', or 'in contrast' to connect ideas and ensure that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence followed by supporting details.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is very limited and repetitive. The student frequently uses basic terms like 'work', 'different', and 'progress' without variation. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'more workout' instead of 'more productive' or 'hard-working'. The lack of range prevents the student from expressing complex ideas effectively. To achieve a higher band, the student needs to expand their vocabulary by learning synonyms and collocations related to demographics, economics, and social development, and practice using them in context to avoid constant repetition.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The grammar is characterized by frequent errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'Young adults was', 'Young peoples was') and pluralization (e.g., 'Young peoples'). The sentence structures are simple and often fragmented or ungrammatical. There is no evidence of complex sentence structures, which are necessary for higher band scores. To improve, the student should focus on mastering basic sentence construction, subject-verb agreement, and the correct use of articles and plurals before attempting more complex grammatical structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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