Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-10

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In contemporary world, population growth is increasing rapidly. In certain countries includes a large number of proportion of younger generation rather than adults. This essay will examine benefits and drawbacks of this view.

One of the major reason what are the advantages is that it can contribute significantly to economic growth. Since young people generally make-up a substantial proportion of the working age population, they can provide businesses with a larger and more productive workforce. Their energy, skills and willingness to adopt new technologies can also improve productivity and encourage innovation across various industries. For instance, countries such as India can get benefits from large pool of youngers in manufacturing, technology and service sectors. As a result, youthful population can strengthen the labour market, increase tax revenue and accelerate long-term economic development.

However, every trend does not come without negative aspect. One of the primer drawback of this view is that it makes a competition among a large number of young population. If the number of young people entering the workforce grows faster than the number of employments available, many graduates, may struggle to find a suitable occupation. This can create a financial pressure and increase dependence on families or government support. For example, countries with rapidly growing youth population may produce more graduates than the labour market can absorb. Consequently, youth unemployment can increase, leading to financial insecurity and wider social issues.

In conclusion, although having a larger percentage of younger population can make issues such as unemployment, financial problems and a social pressure, I believe that its benefits are more significant. If governments provide sufficient jobs, education and training opportunities, the younger generation can become a valuable workforce and contribute substantially to long-term economic growth.

AI examiner evaluation

CriterionBand
Task Achievement / Task Response6.5
Coherence and Cohesion6.5
Lexical Resource5.5
Grammatical Range and Accuracy5.5
Overall6.0

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The ideas are relevant and generally well-developed, particularly the economic benefits regarding the workforce and innovation. The disadvantages, such as unemployment and social pressure, are also logically presented. However, the development is occasionally slightly repetitive, and the conclusion could be more nuanced by synthesising the points rather than just restating them. Overall, the response is focused and maintains a consistent position throughout the essay, meeting the requirements for a Band 7.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organised with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. Cohesive devices such as 'For instance', 'However', and 'Consequently' are used effectively to link sentences and ideas. While the paragraphing is appropriate, some transitions between sentences feel slightly mechanical. The use of referencing is generally clear, though there are minor issues with article usage and pluralisation that occasionally disrupt the flow. Overall, the structure is coherent and supports the development of the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at less common items like 'absorb', 'innovation', and 'labour market'. However, there are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice errors, such as 'large number of proportion of younger generation' and 'primer drawback'. The term 'youngers' is also non-standard in this context. While the meaning is always clear, the range is somewhat limited, and the errors in collocation prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Improving precision and avoiding repetitive phrasing would enhance the lexical score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, particularly with articles ('the contemporary world', 'a large number of proportion') and subject-verb agreement ('every trend does not come', 'countries includes'). Some sentences are slightly clunky, such as 'One of the major reason what are the advantages is that...'. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. A greater variety of error-free complex structures would be needed to reach the Band 7 level.

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