Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-11
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.5)
These days, there has been a lot of talk about young population. This essay will delve deeper into the possible punitive reasons, viewpoints, overviews, and advantages causing this scenario before presenting my school of thought in the ensuing paragraphs with sufficient and relevant examples.
At first glance, there are several reasons in support of my context, but the most obvious one is that a large young population can become a strong workforce, especially if the country provides good education and employment opportunities.. For example, one survey conducted by "The Daily News" revealed that the majority of people are responsible for this phenomenon, while only a few are aware of it. As a result, it is clear why a large number of people agree with the aforementioned position.
My point is further supported by that If a country has a higher young population, more innovation and entrepreneurship take place. This is because young people are more likely to learn new technology, experiment with new ideas, and take risks. Thus, this will not only raise living standards but also make individuals more cautious and practical in their approach.
On the other hand, there are some disadvantages to having a large young population. If a country has large number of young adults, many of them will enter in job market around same time. However, if the economy cannot create enough jobs, some young people may remain unemployed. This would led to financial pressure.
To recapitulate, it may be argued that, even though there are many causes, overviews, viewpoints, arguments, pros as well as negatives of young population. Lastly, it seems to me that advantages of young population outweigh the disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages of a large young population. However, the development is inconsistent. While the points regarding workforce and innovation are relevant, the supporting evidence is weak; for instance, the reference to a 'survey' by 'The Daily News' is vague and does not provide a logical link to the argument. The conclusion is repetitive and fails to synthesize the main points effectively. The position is clear, but the overall depth of analysis is limited, preventing the response from reaching a higher band.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or misused. For example, the phrase 'in support of my context' is unnatural, and the transition 'At first glance' does not fit the context of the argument. Additionally, the final paragraph is disjointed, listing various nouns ('causes, overviews, viewpoints') rather than providing a cohesive summary of the arguments presented. Paragraphing is present but the internal flow between sentences could be smoother.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and sophistication. There is a reliance on generic phrases like 'a lot of talk' and 'good education'. Some word choices are awkward, such as 'punitive reasons' (which is incorrect in this context) and 'my school of thought'. While the student attempts to use topic-specific vocabulary like 'innovation' and 'entrepreneurship', the overall range is limited. To improve, the student should focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive, filler-like language.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors. Examples include 'This would led to' (incorrect verb form), 'enter in job market' (missing article), and 'If a country has higher young population' (missing article). Punctuation is also inconsistent, such as the double period at the end of the second paragraph. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they occur frequently enough to lower the score. More attention to subject-verb agreement and article usage is required.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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