Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In recent years, there has been growing public discussion surrounding the topic of the population of some countries, including a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. While this topic presents both benefits and drawbacks, I believe that having a relatively large number of young adults brings more positive consequences than an elderly population.

On the one hand, opponents may highlight certain disadvantages. They often argue that it reduces the historical traditional values and cultural heritage, as many young generations do not overly focus on previous lifestyles and historical significance. Additionally, they emphasise the importance of having more older individuals. For example, it encourages younger people to stay healthier and live longer by having regular exercises, proper meals, and maintaining good sleep qualities. Also, they point out that this approach increases the costs of companies, as they have to pay additional costs and attention to provide training to new staff.

On the other hand, there are several strong arguments in favour of my viewpoint. One of the most significant reasons is that it declines the working population figure of the country. Truly, this is particularly important, as it leads to numerous negative impacts, such as minimising the overall production of the country, compared with the number of populations. Moreover, another noteworthy drawback is that it increases governments' spending. For instance, paying pensions and developing healthcare facilities to ensure elderly citizens' overall mental and physical well-being. As a result, this may contribute to enhancing the stress levels of other individuals, as they have to pay additional taxes to fulfill these needs. Furthermore, disabled people improve the household responsibilities of other family members. Primarily, this may be promoting more financial pressure on active members of the family.

In addition, a recent report indicates that having a relatively large number of young adults is a reasonable development, supported by logical evidence.

In conclusion, although there are convincing arguments on both sides of this matter, the benefits of having a relatively large number of young adults outweigh the drawbacks. Considering its highly beneficial impacts on both individuals and society, it is essential to focus on maximising these advantages while addressing any potential concerns.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population and takes a clear position. However, the body paragraphs contain significant confusion regarding the arguments. In the second paragraph, the student attempts to discuss disadvantages of a young population, but confusingly brings up reasons for older individuals to stay healthy and training costs for companies. In the third paragraph, intended for advantages, the student writes 'One of the most significant reasons is that it declines the working population figure', which actually describes the disadvantage of an ageing population rather than a youth-heavy demographic. Furthermore, the final body paragraph is extremely brief and vague. These shifts in logic mean that while the task is addressed, the ideas are not fully or clearly developed, aligning best with a Band 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is divided into distinct paragraphs with standard introductory and concluding remarks, providing an overall coherent arrangement. The student attempts to use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'Furthermore' to structure the response. However, referencing and logical progression are frequently faulty due to contradictory statements and misplaced arguments (e.g. discussing the disadvantages of an ageing population in the paragraph meant for advantages). Paragraphing is used, but the fourth paragraph consists of a single weak sentence ('In addition, a recent report indicates...'). While the overarching structure is visible, the mechanical and sometimes inaccurate use of logical links prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Coherence is rated at a Band 6.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student demonstrates an adequate vocabulary range for the task, attempting some less common phrases such as 'cultural heritage', 'healthcare facilities', and 'mental and physical well-being'. However, there are noticeable inaccuracies in word choice and collocation that affect precision. For example, writing that an advantage is that it 'declines the working population figure' misuses the verb 'declines', and the phrase 'promoter more financial pressure' or 'enhance the stress levels' feels unnatural. Spelling is generally accurate, but vocabulary limitations and awkward phrasing prevent the score from reaching Band 7.0, making Band 6.0 the most appropriate descriptor.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, including subordinate clauses ('While this topic presents...', 'as they have to pay additional costs...'). There is good control of basic punctuation and sentence boundaries. However, grammatical errors and awkward syntax occur regularly throughout the text, such as 'the population of some countries, including a relatively large number' (which awkwardly modifies population) and 'disabled people improve the household responsibilities', which contains a major lexical and grammatical mismatch. Despite these errors, meaning is rarely obscured, and simple sentences are frequently error-free, which fits the Band 6 descriptor well.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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