Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Currently, in some countries young adults has the larger portion than the aged individuals. In my point of view, this kind of situation could overcome the disadvantages. The reasons behind that, Younger people are more stronger than older ones also they have ability to work for a longer time than senior citizens. This essay will find some of the advantages along with disadvantage.
At present situation, we can observe that younger persons has more strength than aged person. They can work for a longer time without being very tired while older person will be very tired for their less strength. Now a days world is becoming technology based and young peoples are very familiar about technology advancement than the older peoples are. Although younger peoples has less practical knowledge than aged peoples, they have the potential to defend any kinds of difficulties for their refresh minds. So this kinds of ability will be very beneficial for the countries to economical growth and also they can take parts of any hardworking activities of the government.
Therefore, Aged persons has more practical experience and they have the ability to overcome different kinds of difficulties as they gain experience from their previous activities. So this kinds of experience might be absent in younger individuals. wherever, it will be very significant for the young adults if they are guided by the experience older person.
In conclusion, For a developed country both types of persons has significant role. so it will be better if their ratio is balanced. Although both has the important roles for a country, younger adults can contribute more than the aged citizens.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a large population of young adults compared to older people. The student attempts to state a position in the introduction by saying 'this kind of situation could overcome the disadvantages' and concludes that 'younger adults can contribute more'. However, the ideas are relatively undeveloped and tend to over-generalise, such as the claim that younger people are 'more stronger' and better suited for economic growth. Key points about physical strength and technological familiarity are repeated multiple times without significant extension. While all parts of the task are addressed, the depth of reasoning places this response firmly at Band 5.0 according to the task response descriptors.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into four paragraphs, including an introduction and conclusion, but the overall organisation lacks a clear logical progression. Cohesive devices are frequently inadequate, inaccurate, or overused, with phrases like 'The reasons behind that,' 'At present situation,' and 'wherever' used incorrectly or mechanically to link sentences. Referencing is sometimes unclear, particularly in the third paragraph where the transition between older and younger populations becomes muddled. Paragraphing is attempted, but the internal logical flow of ideas within paragraphs needs significant improvement to reach a higher band. These issues align with the Band 5 descriptors for coherence and cohesion.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is generally basic and repetitive, featuring frequent reliance on words like 'younger', 'older', 'persons', and 'people'. There are notable word choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'young adults has the larger portion' instead of 'make up a larger proportion', 'refresh minds' instead of 'fresh minds', and 'economical growth' instead of 'economic growth'. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey the basic message, the presence of noticeable lexical errors and limited range restricts the score to a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0
The essay displays a very limited range of grammatical structures, relying mostly on simple sentences with frequent attempts at complex forms that are flawed. There are numerous grammatical and punctuation errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('young adults has', 'younger persons has'), incorrect comparative forms ('more stronger'), and incorrect prepositions or conjunctions ('wherever' used instead of 'however'). These frequent errors cause some difficulty for the reader and prevent the text from achieving a higher band. Based on these persistent inaccuracies and limited control, a Band 4.0 is appropriate.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.