Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

At present, many countries having dense population young adults, compared with older individuals. This may occur high unemployment and can lead to economic downfall to the country. In this essay I will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of high population of youth to the country.

On the one hand, in today's accelerated era to the artificial intelligence and robotics, young individuals are capable enough to lean into the technological revolution. Integration of AI in such roles minimize the human error and can lead to the unemployment of small roll workers in factories and restaurants etc. Young unemployment directly effect the economic growth of the county. Hence, young adults are talented and dedicated to their work life, finding their way to overcome the situation of unemployment through freelance or self employment. Additionally, many proponents hold the strong opinions of starting up their businesses and collaborative entrepreneurship startups. Fresh and creative minds create their own way to employments with relaying of others.

On the other hand, older individuals hold more expertise and practice with industrial revolution in professions include finance, medical and mechanical engineering. Though, won't capable enough to catch up with expanding use of computation and robotics. Over reliance on employment blurs their vision to start freshly after unexpected unemployment. Creating complete breakage of the income.

To summarize, I mast say that young adults shape themselves to fit into the situation, have courage to deal with unexpected financial crisis, overcoming the disadvantages of unemployment and lesser population of older individuals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of a population with a high proportion of young adults. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times unclear. For instance, the introduction states 'many countries having dense population young adults', which is grammatically flawed and vague. The body paragraphs attempt to discuss technology, unemployment, and entrepreneurship, but the arguments are somewhat convoluted and conflate youth population advantages with general labor market issues. Phrases like 'small roll workers' (likely meaning small role or low-level workers) impede the clarity of the argument. The position is discernible at the end, but the overall task response suffers from underdeveloped ideas and slight digressions into unrelated technological discussions. This aligns best with the Band 5 descriptors, where the task is addressed only partially and ideas are limited.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a brief conclusion, showing an attempt at paragraphing. However, the logical progression is frequently disrupted by awkward transitions and confusing sentence structures. For example, the transition 'On the one hand, in today's accelerated era to the artificial intelligence...' introduces a complex thought that lacks cohesive connection to the preceding sentence. Furthermore, referencing is sometimes unclear, such as 'creating complete breakage of the income', where the antecedent or logical link is missing. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused ('Hence', 'Though'). Overall organisation is visible, but the lack of smooth progression and flawed cohesion places this response at Band 5.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is relatively basic and repetitive, with noticeable errors that occasionally cause difficulty for the reader. Examples include 'dense population young adults' instead of 'a population dense with young adults', 'small roll workers' instead of 'low-skilled workers', and 'relay of others' instead of 'relying on others'. While the student attempts some less common lexical items related to technology and business ('artificial intelligence', 'entrepreneurship startups', 'freelance'), inaccurate word choice and collocation prevent higher bands. Spelling and word-choice errors are frequent enough to strain comprehension in places, matching the Band 5 criteria for lexical resource.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The text contains a very limited range of structures and frequent grammatical errors. Simple sentences are often poorly constructed, and attempts at complex sentences frequently result in serious structural faults. Examples of errors include 'At present, many countries having dense population young adults', 'Young unemployment directly effect the economic growth of the county', and 'Though, won't capable enough to catch up'. Punctuation and subject-verb agreement errors are pervasive throughout the text ('countries having', 'effect' instead of 'affect', sentence fragments starting with 'Though'). These frequent errors cause significant difficulty for the reader and reflect the Band 5 descriptor for grammatical range and accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.