Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.
Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowdays, in some countries, porporation of young adults are larger than older people. This conditon has some kind of drawback but i belive that advantage outwigh the disadvantage.
One important disadvantage of this situation is that it can lead uneployment rate. Because , the older people are stabke with their jobs position and buisness ,so in job sector there are limited position for huge candinate. Moreover, so many students are recently completed their graudution, so huge unemployment are loking for job. For example, in recent time BBC published a news about china job market hundred candinate fight for one position. It means that right now huge job crisis in china.However, I do not think this is a major disadvantage for young people as long as they make the leap to self-employment.
On upside, their are several benifits of having this situation , once advantage is that young people can innovate modern tecnology. Because of they are tend to be more productive and inteligent than older people and thus are likely to bring change and make revulation of their country. For example, young adults made so many ai tools ,it can eassily complete a hardwork and also saves time . I think this creates a great advantage for a country because a mordern tecnology offers people high standards of living.
In conclusion, although large numbers of young adults can mean high jobless rates among them, I believe this disadvantage is greatly outweighed by the advantage that they can drive an economy to grow.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a large population of young adults compared to older people, and clearly states a position that the advantages outweighing the disadvantages. Ideas are introduced, such as job market competition and technological innovation, though some points remain somewhat under-developed due to the brevity and limited supporting detail. For example, the mention of BBC news regarding China's job market touches upon a relevant real-world issue, but the explanation lacks depth. Overall, the response fulfills the basic requirements of Task 2 by presenting a clear viewpoint and supporting arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is divided into an introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion, showing an overall logical arrangement. However, referencing and cohesive devices are sometimes faulty or mechanical. For instance, transitional phrases like 'On upside' and 'once advantage' contain grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. Paragraphing is used, but the internal logical progression within the paragraphs is occasionally disrupted by abrupt transitions and run-on sentences, such as combining distinct clauses without appropriate punctuation or conjunctions.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, but contains numerous spelling and word-choice errors, such as 'Nowdays', 'porporation', 'conditon', 'uneployment', 'stabke', 'candinate', 'graudution', 'tecnology', 'eassily', and 'mordern'. While the student attempts less common vocabulary like 'innovation', 'productivity', and 'self-employment', inaccuracies in spelling and collocation are frequent. These errors do not completely impede communication, as the reader can still grasp the intended meaning, but they restrict the lexical score to a Band 5.0.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay displays a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but grammatical accuracy is weak. There are frequent errors in verb tense, subject-verb agreement, and article usage, such as 'porporation of young adults are larger than older people' and 'huge unemployment are loking for job'. Punctuation is also problematic, including missing apostrophes and incorrect spacing around commas and periods. Although some complex structures are attempted, they are often faulty and require the reader to decode the meaning.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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