Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Nowadays, in some countries, the proportion of young adults is larger than that of older people. This situation has some drawbacks, but I believe that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.

One important disadvantage of this situation is that it can lead to a high unemployment rate. This is because older people are stable in their job positions and businesses, so there are limited positions in the job sector for a huge number of candidates. Moreover, many students have recently completed their graduation, so a large number of unemployed people are looking for jobs. For example, recently, the BBC published a news report about China's job market, where hundreds of candidates competed for one position. This means that there is currently a serious job crisis in China. However, I do not think this is a major disadvantage for young people as long as they make the leap to self-employment.

On the upside, there are several benefits to having this situation. One advantage is that young people can innovate modern technology. This is because they tend to be more productive and intelligent than older people and are therefore likely to bring change and make a revolution in their country. For example, young adults have developed many AI tools that can easily complete difficult tasks and also save time. I think this creates a great advantage for a country because modern technology offers people a higher standard of living.

In conclusion, although large numbers of young adults can mean high unemployment rates among them, I believe this disadvantage is greatly outweighed by the advantage that they can drive an economy to grow.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The student addresses all parts of the task by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of a population with a large proportion of young adults and clearly states a position. The position is maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are generally well developed, particularly the advantage concerning modern technology and innovation, which is supported with a relevant example about AI tools. The disadvantage regarding high unemployment is also explored with an example from China. However, the development tends to be slightly simplistic in places, such as dismissing the unemployment issue quickly by suggesting young people simply make the leap to self-employment. This prevents the response from reaching the highest band levels, but overall it meets the criteria for Band 6.5 well, sitting comfortably at a Band 7.0 for addressing all parts with a clear position and supporting details.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay displays clear logical organisation and progression throughout. Each paragraph has a distinct focus, moving logically from an introduction to a disadvantage paragraph, an advantage paragraph, and a concise conclusion. Cohesive devices are used reasonably well, with phrases like 'One important disadvantage', 'Moreover', and 'On the upside' guiding the reader through the arguments. Paragraphing is used appropriately. However, referencing and transitions are at times slightly mechanical ('This means that there is currently a serious job crisis in China'), which keeps the response at Band 6.5, rounding to 6.5 based on clear overall progression despite some repetitive mechanical linking patterns.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student demonstrates an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully attempting less common items and phrasal structures such as 'proportion of young adults', 'high unemployment rate', 'self-employment', and 'standard of living'. There are some minor inaccuracies in word choice or collocation, for example, 'make the leap to self-employment' is slightly awkward, and 'make a revolution' is less natural than 'spark a revolution'. However, these errors do not impede communication, and the vocabulary is sufficient to convey precise meanings for most of the essay, satisfying the descriptors for a Band 6.0.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The student uses a mix of simple and complex sentence forms effectively, demonstrating control over structures such as conditional-like clauses ('as long as they make...') and subordinate clauses ('This is because older people are stable...'). There are some minor errors in grammar and punctuation, but they are infrequent and do not impede communication. For instance, 'students have recently completed their graduation' could be phrased more naturally, but the grammar remains clear and transparent throughout. The presence of a variety of structures alongside good error control places this response solidly at a Band 6.5.

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