Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some people think that it is of great importance that the number of young adult outweighs that of the older people while others believe that it is detrimental to life . I believe that the advantage is greater than the disadvantage.

The economy of a country can only flourish when the people in it still has the strength to work hard and can as well bring forth sound ideas for development. The brain is more active when we are young and declines with age so a country filled with younger people have not only people who still have the energy to do work but also, people that can still make good use of their brain to full potential. For example, i read an article few days ago about a school in China that starts from elementary one to teach the students how to use different kinds of technology in addition to how to create their own ideas for production. They further added that it is one of the reasons why their country has gone far in development and is the number one country when it comes to production.

On the other hand, the world does not just operate on economy because there are other things that add flavour to life like culture which young adults does not uphold. The idea of cherishing culture is found among the older people which can be passed to the younger generation but only if these elderly ones exist in the society. This situation is worsened with the invention of technology which is giving the younger people the notion that their culture is no longer important and in a situation when ones culture is forgotten, the essence and origin of life is lost. Example, my nephew was sent to a school in the UK and on arrival back to the country, he refused to do that which is a norm in our society. This is because he associated himself with only people of his age while losing the essence and taste of what it feels like to have an elderly around.

Suffice me to say that the elderly are equally as important as the younger generation because together they add essence to our existence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a population with a large proportion of young adults. The writer clearly states a position in the introduction, arguing that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. Ideas are extended with examples, such as the mention of an article about a Chinese school teaching technology to children. However, the development tends to rely on personal anecdotes or somewhat broad generalisations rather than fully exploring broader societal impacts such as healthcare costs, pension schemes, or economic innovation on a macroeconomic scale. Despite these minor limitations in depth, the prompt is fully addressed with a consistent position throughout, aligning well with the descriptors for Band 6.5 or a solid Band 6.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay demonstrates a coherent overall arrangement with a clear introduction, body paragraphs addressing both sides, and a brief concluding thought. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate distinct ideas, such as the economic benefits in the second paragraph and the cultural disadvantages in the third. However, cohesive devices are sometimes mechanical or lacking in smooth transitional flow. For instance, the transition 'Suffice me to say that' is slightly unnatural and awkwardly phrased. Referencing is generally clear, but the logical progression within paragraphs occasionally feels disjointed, as seen in the sudden shift to a personal anecdote about a nephew in the UK. Overall, the organizational structure is adequate for Band 6.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The student uses an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, successfully communicating ideas related to economy, technology, and culture. There are attempts to use less common vocabulary items and phrases, such as 'flourish', 'detrimental to life', and 'essence and origin'. However, there are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as writing 'young adult outweighs' instead of the plural form, and 'young adults does not uphold' where subject-verb agreement fails alongside lexical selection. Additionally, phrases like 'gone far in development' are rather informal. These inaccuracies reflect Band 6 performance, where vocabulary is sufficient for the task but contains errors that occasionally surface.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The response exhibits a mix of simple and complex sentence forms. The writer attempts complex structures through conditional and relative clauses, such as 'which can be passed to the younger generation but only if these elderly ones exist in the society.' However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly regarding subject-verb agreement ('the number of young adult outweighs', 'young adults does not uphold') and article usage ('in a situation when ones culture is forgotten'). Punctuation is generally acceptable, and while these errors do not impede overall communication, they prevent the essay from achieving a higher band. The density and frequency of these mistakes firmly place this response in the Band 6 category.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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