Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

It is true that nowadays the population of some countries of young adults has become relatively large compared to the old people.

I believe that this development has completely more advantages, as there are many young generations of people making an effort for a better tomorrow as they are doing better than the people before or are passing away as old people. Every country has their own ideas about developing something beneficial for their country. So young people are mostly able to make efforts to make progress in their lives and for their country too. In addition, some countries have been providing great convenience to people, which is one of the most common reasons that many young adults have been moving to that country. For example, the Netherlands involves many young adults.

Similarly, there are many countries in Europe that involve large numbers of young adults. If we take a look at the disadvantages of this situation, there are lots of things to learn from our elders and those ideas which are relative to our lives that we can't learn without the ideology of older people if we're not giving them any value. So, most countries are believed to have an older generation too.

In my opinion, considering the current circumstances the advantages have outweighed the disadvantages in a sense that young generation bring more innovative and productive ideas than the older generation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The student attempts to address the prompt regarding the advantages and disadvantages of a population with a large number of young adults. However, the response falls short of the minimum word count requirement, containing only 233 words instead of the required 250 words. This under-length impacts the overall development of ideas. While a position is stated ('I believe that this development has completely more advantages'), the arguments are rather simplistic, repetitive, and lack fully developed examples or deep analysis. For instance, the mention of the Netherlands and European countries is underdeveloped and does not clearly link to economic or social advantages. Because the task is only partially addressed due to underdeveloped ideas and failure to meet the length requirement, a band score of 5.0 is appropriate.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the overall organisation and progression are somewhat disjointed. The introduction is very brief, and body paragraphs jump between ideas rather abruptly. For example, the transition from discussing young people migrating to countries like the Netherlands to the disadvantages section ('Similarly, there are many countries in Europe...') lacks clear logical connection. Cohesive devices are used, but sometimes mechanically or inappropriately, such as using 'Similarly' to introduce a completely different point about disadvantages. Paragraphing is attempted, but paragraph functions blur together, particularly at the end. Referencing is occasionally unclear, such as 'those ideas which are relative to our lives that we can't learn without the ideology of older people if we're not giving them any value.' These issues place the response firmly at band 5.0.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The student uses a limited and occasionally repetitive vocabulary range suitable for basic communication, such as 'young people', 'older people', 'better tomorrow', and 'advantages and disadvantages'. There are noticeable errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'has completely more advantages' instead of 'has significantly more advantages' and 'passes away as old people'. Expressions like 'involves many young adults' are awkward in this context, where 'have large populations of young adults' would be more natural. While the vocabulary is minimally adequate to convey basic opinions, the frequent inaccuracies and lack of less common lexical items prevent the response from reaching a higher band. Spelling is generally acceptable, but lexical control is weak.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many of the complex sentences are overly long, convoluted, and grammatically faulty. For instance, the sentence starting with 'If we take a look at the disadvantages...' is a long, run-on structure that becomes difficult to follow. There are frequent grammatical errors, such as missing articles, preposition errors ('population... of young adults has become relatively large compared to the old people'), and awkward relative clauses ('those ideas which are relative to our lives that we can't learn...'). Control over punctuation and sentence boundaries is weak, causing strain for the reader, though the core meaning can generally be deciphered. These features reflect the descriptors for band 5.0.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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