Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Nowadays, some countries have high population of young adults, compared with the number of older people. In my opinion this is good situation of their countries and they can have many advantages.

First of all, to develop the country there need intelligent manpower, however we know young people are best to used them as sustainable manpower. Young people have high energy with great motivation. In also in leadership young people can work more efficient then older one. because most of the modern young people are well educated and skilled, they do not need to worried about how can i do any kind of work or task. for example , Balen Sha is a prime minister of Nepal. Now he is woking actively and accurately, because of his energy, motivation and dedication. therefore young people have energy to expan themself like unstopable.

Secondly, greed of wealth is vital thing in any country. most of the old people are planning to saving for further soo they could be trapped into bribery. But in from the young age group most of the young people are want to survive good lifestyle but not too much greedy behaviour. for example Mr Narendra Modi prime minister of india he has allegation of bribery 2billion dollar in recent year, He is over 70 year while in burkina faso Ibram Taore give gdp growth by 15% and country has developed many schools road and given many agriculture eauipment with country people and he is 39 years old. therefore young adults have ambition to make somehthing greater soo it is very advantageous for countries.

To conclude, if the young adults have good intelligent and skill as well as good ambition

it will be superbeneficial for the countries then the older people.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The student addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages (implied through comparison), presenting a clear personal position that youth-heavy populations are advantageous. Ideas are extended with examples, such as referencing political figures like Balen Shah, Narendra Modi, and Ibrahim Traore to support claims about energy, ambition, and integrity. However, some arguments rely on sweeping generalizations—such as assuming older people are generally prone to bribery while young people are not—which slightly limits the depth of the analysis. Furthermore, the development of ideas is somewhat disjointed due to vocabulary and grammatical limitations. Overall, all parts of the task are addressed, and a clear position is maintained throughout, fitting the Band 5.5 to 6.0 profile, rounded to 6.0.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The response has an overall coherent arrangement, following a standard essay structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is attempted, though the division between paragraphs could be clearer and more unified. Cohesive devices such as 'First of all,' 'Secondly,' and 'To conclude' are used to structure the text, but referencing is sometimes unclear, and internal cohesion within paragraphs can be mechanical or faulty. For instance, the transition between sentences in the second body paragraph relies on repetitive structures ('most of the old people...', 'most of the young people...'). Paragraphing and referencing are sufficient for the reader to follow the general argument, but logical progression is occasionally hindered by abrupt shifts in thought.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is adequate for the task, allowing the student to communicate basic ideas about population, energy, and leadership. However, the range is limited and there are frequent inaccuracies in word choice, collocation, and word formation (e.g., 'sustainable manpower', 'work more efficient then older one', 'expan themself', 'unstopable', 'greed of wealth', 'superbeneficial'). There are also spelling and capitalization errors throughout the text (e.g., 'woking', 'soo', 'ibram taore'). While less common lexical items are attempted, their inappropriate usage causes some strain for the reader and prevents the response from reaching a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The student attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, but control over grammar and punctuation is weak. There are frequent errors in basic sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and prepositions (e.g., 'there need intelligent manpower', 'best to used them', 'in leadership young people can work', 'do not need to worried about how can i do'). Punctuation is also problematic, with run-on sentences, missing commas, and incorrect capitalization. These errors occur frequently and occasionally impede communication, requiring the reader to re-read sections to grasp the intended meaning.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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