Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this current era, it is observed that the number of young adults in various countries surpassing the population of older people. A significant number of people believe that this growing trend has several disadvantages whereas others oppose this opinion.

To commence with, many people think that decreasing number of older people will have severe drawbacks on the society which just have started taking place in current time. First and foremost, people are getting emotionally unavailable. Older people relatively hold that trait in them where they mentally and emotionally support their youngsters and hold their back. For instance, juveniles have been observed to be relatively more closer to grandparents than their own parents and friends. Moreover, People in many countries are strongly emotionally attached to the older people in their homes and areas of living. Therefore, they depend a lot on their older generations to take plenty of decisions and to tackle the shortcomings and challenges going on, in their lives. Therefore, the absence or less number of older people makes the society lack wisdom, experienced and visionary individuals.

In contrary, a considerable number of people firmly believe that the rising population of young adults in the society is meant to bring a lot of positive changes. They hold the opinion that the young adults have fresh blood and more physically strong and active, who can practically serve to the world in more better and realistic ways. Having the young adults accompanied with the modern technology can bring enormous new ideas which can be implemented to improve the better living standards. For example, many companies and industries prefer the younger ones over olderly candidates keeping these scenarios into consideration.

In my perspective, both the generations have their own services towards the society and I believe that since older generation has their own significance therefore, the advantages of discussed situation can not outweigh their disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both the advantages and disadvantages of having a population with a large proportion of young adults. The writer establishes a position in the introduction and concludes by stating that the advantages do not outweigh the disadvantages. However, the development of ideas lacks depth and relies on somewhat repetitive arguments. For instance, the discussion on disadvantages focuses heavily on emotional support and wisdom without introducing broader societal or economic aspects. Similarly, the advantages focus mainly on physical strength and technology without deeper analysis. This places the response in Band 6, as it addresses all parts of the task with relevant ideas, but some points are under-developed or repetitive.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay displays a coherent overall arrangement with clear paragraphing, separating the introduction, disadvantages, advantages, and conclusion. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with', 'First and foremost', and 'In contrary' (though 'In contrast' is more standard). However, referencing is sometimes unclear, and the mechanical transition phrases hinder natural flow. For example, the phrase 'Therefore, the absence or less number of older people makes the society lack wisdom...' follows several other consecutive uses of 'Therefore', making the progression repetitive. Paragraphing is used sufficiently, but logical progression within paragraphs could be tighter. This corresponds to Band 6 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The student attempts a range of vocabulary, including phrases like 'growing trend', 'emotionally unavailable', and 'visionary individuals'. However, there are notable word-choice and collocation errors throughout the text, such as 'number of young adults in various countries surpassing' (missing auxiliary), 'decreasing number of older people will have severe drawbacks on the society' (impact on, not drawbacks on), 'relatively more closer' (double comparative), and 'olderly candidates' (elderly or older). While the range is adequate to communicate the main ideas, these frequent inaccuracies in word choice and collocation prevent the response from achieving a higher band, placing it firmly at Band 6.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence forms, demonstrating an attempt at varied structures, such as 'A significant number of people believe that...' and 'They hold the opinion that the young adults have fresh blood and more physically strong and active...'. Nevertheless, grammatical errors are frequent throughout the response. Examples include tense and agreement issues like 'number of young adults... surpassing', missing prepositions, and awkward phrasing such as 'who can practically serve to the world in more better and realistic ways' (double comparative and incorrect verb pattern). Although these errors do not completely impede communication, they affect the overall clarity and occur too frequently for a Band 7.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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