Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 12 · 2026-09-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

At the present time, the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people.

Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

Student answer (Band 5.0)

The population of young adults is relatively large, as compared with older people. Although some might consider it negative, I believe it to be extremely benificial. Not only because of good for medical field and business field, but also because of it is beneficial for economy.

There are a lot of advantages associated with increase population of young adults. Firstly, it is very good medical field. As adults can do better in preparing medicines, operating a patient in serious condition and managing hospital better than the olders. Take an example of America, a survey proved that the people from age group 25 to 40 can do better in surgery field than the age group of 70 to 80. Thus, this mega benefit make this development a positive development.

Secondly, youngers can do better in the various business fields. As youngers can think different than olders and also work more than the old people. For instance, The Pakistan's president says that young people can handle business and think differently and benefits 20% more in the country's economy. Hence, this development also carry a lot of advantages, giving this development a positive outlook.

Finally, this is also good to develop economy. As yongers can do better in business field and other businesses. This effects on country's economy positively.

To sum up, even though large amount of young people have some drawbacks too, but I believe that the benefit it bring in terms of medical field, business and better economy can make this development an overall positive one.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of having a large young adult population, taking a clear position that the advantages outweigh the disadvantages. The writer identifies key areas such as the medical field and business development to support this stance. However, the ideas are often repetitive and lack deep elaboration. For instance, the argument regarding the medical field relies on a generalised assertion that young adults perform better in surgeries without plausible justification, supported by fabricated or vague survey data ("a survey proved that the people from age group 25 to 40 can do better in surgery field than the age group of 70 to 80"). Similarly, the economic point is reiterated rather than expanded. This places the response firmly at Band 5, as the ideas remain somewhat limited and under-developed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, featuring an introduction, distinct body paragraphs addressing different points, and a conclusion. However, the overall progression is hindered by repetitive phrasing and a lack of smooth transitions between ideas. Cohesive devices are used mechanically and often inaccurately, such as starting multiple sentences and paragraphs with "As" or "Firstly," "Secondly," and "Finally" without proper syntactic connection to the main clause. Paragraphing is attempted, but the third body paragraph is extremely brief and repetitive, essentially echoing the previous business point. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the mechanical overuse of transition markers results in a disjointed flow, matching the Band 5 descriptors.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is basic and repetitive, frequently reusing words like "development," "youngers," "business fields," and "better." There are noticeable word choice and collocation errors, such as "benificial" (spelling error), "increase population" (instead of increased population), and "operating a patient" (instead of operating on a patient). The writer attempts some less common vocabulary, such as "mega benefit" and "positive outlook," but these are used awkwardly or informally. The lexical range is limited and minimally adequate for the task, causing some strain for the reader due to frequent inaccuracies, which corresponds to a Band 5 score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The writer attempts a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but many of the complex structures are grammatically faulty. A prominent issue is sentence fragment errors caused by misuse of subordinating conjunctions, such as starting sentences with "As adults can do..." or "As youngers can think..." without an independent clause to complete the thought. There are also frequent errors in article usage, pluralisation (e.g., "the olders," "youngers"), and subject-verb agreement (e.g., "this mega benefit make"). These frequent grammatical errors cause some difficulty for the reader and reflect the characteristics of Band 5.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.